Familiar advice

The bartender as psychologist who serves up advice alongside drinks is an old cliche that has some validity in a number of other professions as well. Clients, including those pulling up a bar stool or sitting in a salon chair, often seek a listening ear.

Many bartenders, hairstylists, cab drivers, massage therapists, personal trainers and professional organizers have heard their share of spilled secrets. Metro-area psychologists and counselors debate the merits of lay psychotherapy, even if it is just listening.

“They’re in proximity with their customers. It’s simply because of the proximity; it would make sense people would engage in conversations,” says Brian S. Canfield, president of the American Counseling Association in Alexandria and professor of counseling at the University of San Diego.

“It’s the same category as talking to friends or family. Those people aren’t any more qualified than anyone on the street,” says Mr. Canfield, who holds a doctorate in counseling.

Spouting off problems to the random cab driver or massage therapist could even be a bit dangerous if bad advice results or buttons are pushed, says Joseph Sanders, director of Health Enhancement Programs, a research and development organization in Alexandria devoted to health-enhancing programs. He is a diplomat in clinical psychology for the American Board of Professional Psychology in Savannah, Ga.

“It’s one-sided. You have no idea of their behavior or background,” says Mr. Sanders, who holds a doctorate in psychology.

Some professionals, such as professional organizers, need to get personal with their clients to be successful in their work.

“You can’t be in somebody’s house and their mess without hearing something about it,” says Florence Feldman, owner of Clearly Organized, a professional organizer in Virginia Beach who serves the D.C. metro and Tidewater areas.

“Clutter and disorganization often are a symptom of other problems,” Ms. Feldman says.

A messy home can be the result of a deeper problem, such as rebellion, grief, loneliness, hoarding or overspending, Ms. Feldman says. Cleaning up the mess can lead to sharing stories and memories associated with the items and the reasons for wanting to keep them, she adds.

“You have to deal with stuff. Stuff is connected to people, and if they had trauma, that’s all connected,” she says.

The goal of a professional organizer is to learn the cause behind the clutter and help clients solve it, says Cheryl Larson, a professional organizer in Clarksburg and owner of Cheryl’s Organizing Concepts.

“Our goal is to teach them how to be organized and keep things organized, not for us to continue to be there,” Ms. Larson says.

Personal trainers, like professional organizers, need to get to know their clients on a personal level. Trainers need to know about a client’s lifestyle, work and family life, stress factors and daily habits to develop a workout to meet their needs, says Amie Hoff, personal trainer for Washington Sports Club in Dupont Circle.

When clients talk about personal matters, which maybe 15 percent of her clients do, Ms. Hoff says she listens without offering advice, while making sure the clients do their workouts.

“A trainer sees them in this raw state and is very accepting and understanding and sometimes can be used as a sounding board,” she says.

Madeline Lane, salon director at Sassoon Salon in Tysons Galleria, says she avoids giving advice to her clients, though she is willing to listen if they want to talk.

“My clients know as much about me as I know about them,” Ms. Lane says, “but we’re not licensed therapists. If I talk about anything, it would be about my experiences, the way I talk with my friends.”

A similar scenario can occur in bars when patrons return, knowing they can chat with their bartender, says David Craver, president of the National Bartender Association in Atlanta.

“People want to go where they have a friend and someone they can confide in,” Mr. Craver says. “Like a psychologist, it’s someone outside your world. That person isn’t there to judge but to listen and to give positive feedback.”

That feedback can be helpful, says Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and director of the Clinical Psychiatric Research Center at George Washington University in Northwest.

“One of the reasons they value talking to bartenders and hairstylists is because these people are opinionated and authentic. They tend to not censor themselves,” Dr. Lieberman says.

Research shows that one of the most beneficial aspects of therapy and counseling is the feeling of being listened to, understood and not judged, says James Maddux, professor of psychology and director of the clinical psychology doctoral program at George Mason University in Fairfax.

“People often don’t want to be given advice unless they ask for it,” says Mr. Maddux, who holds a doctorate in clinical psychology. “Show interest, just simply be a good listener, and don’t pry for information.”