Suddenly, Bill's a loyal husband

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•••\ \ That young human rights activist, Thor Halvorssen, now HE should be the new president of Venezuela. An Obama type — smart, attractive, self-starter, knows how to bring folks together. Oh, and he LOVES America, too. We are printing t-shirts now. Thor por El Presidente ‘08.\
•••\ \ Bill Clinton is sniping that reporters just don’t judge his wife on the issues when it comes to reporting on Hillary. And he adds, quietly, that HER experience trumps Barack‘s. We did the math, probably not the case, but we sorta like it that he’s trying to be loyal. She’s earned THAT.\
•••\ \ Speaking of Mrs. Clinton: Good news. She’s dumped the Celine Dion campaign music — ick, cack — in favor of Big Head Todd. C’mon sister, bring on the Judas Priest or perhaps some light Metallica or wait … put on the gloves and let’s play some Rammstein. That’ll get the manly, raw-meat vote for sure.\
•••\ \ Where is Mayor Rudy’s Mrs. Judy? She is RARELY out there campaigning. He is kind of in a plateau, we would say. Mebbe the missus will show soon. We’d like to hear her campaign.\
•••\ \ If we were Barack and we are not, we would take advantage and strike really, really hard — it seems all there, ya know. We can dig that he’s been a gentleman thus far, but we think it’s almost Hammertime, if he has any chance of pulling this out. Just our observation.\
•••\ \ Even though we wrote them an actual check, we just can’t pass those Salvation Army bell ringers without giving something. We can’t. \
•••\ \ To quell all of the rumors, we officially announce that yes, we are the emcee on the newly announced Kid Rock tour in ‘08. Please make a note of it.\
•••\ \ Strangely, we discovered we enjoy the Wet and Wild lip gloss as much as our Lancome juicy tubes. Same consistency and they smell nice, too. Go figure. Usually dime store cosmetics give us hives. Who knew?\
•••\ \ Our Christmas loot is coming in nicely, those postal folks doing hero work this season. But we’ve no time to package it. Mebbe we’ll hire those illegals who worked for Mittens’ lawn service to wrap all our stuff. Kooky gesture, no, firing your lawn dude over his illegal edging and blowing staff? That is utter, political weirdness and incredibly poor timing. It doesn’t look presidential as much as it looks dumb. C’mon. We get the idea and all, but who DOES THAT NOW? Sure he’s under fire, but … OY. \
•••\ \ Happy, happy Hannukah, ya’ll!\ \ \ — Andrea Billups, The Washington Times

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About the Author
Andrea Billups

Andrea Billups

Andrea Billups is a Midwest-based national correspondent for The Washington Times. She is a native of West Virginia and received her undergraduate degree from Marshall University and her master's degree from the University of Florida in Gainesville. Her news career spans more than 20 years. She has reported for several newspapers, has edited two magazines and before joining the Times, ...

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