The Washington Times - October 19, 2007, 02:58PM
Hillary

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•••\ \ Speaking of elections: Stephen Colbert is running for president, and FINALLY, we have a candidate weird enough for us. Truthiness in 08! He should debate Ron Paul.\

SEE RELATED:


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•••\ \ A super-fun site: www.globalincidentmap.com/home.php\

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•••\ \ The other night, as we were sleeping in our “hawk” mask, we had this super-cool dream: Putin, Ahmadinejad, Castro, Chavez and a couple of the other All-Global Hater All-Stars were all hanging out together in a Bad Nation Summit — someplace far, far away (with no good malls or cable) — all angry, talkin’ smack against Dubya and liquored up. Then, suddenly in the sky, a dozen U.S. Air Force bomber jets appeared overhead and dropped a pile of the goodstuff on the bullseye. Smoke, total devastation. We woke up feeling so refreshed. We really did.\

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•••\ \ For the first time in a long while — possibly forever — we agree with the ACLU. A Scranton, Pa. woman is facing 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300 for cursing loudly inside her home — with the window open — after her upstairs toilet began overflowing. Her neighbor, an off-duty police officer, heard the profanity from her home next door and asked the woman to shut up. When she did not, the officer called police, who charged her with disorderly conduct. An ACLU attorney says the citation was wrong: “You can’t prosecute something for swearing at a cop or a toilet. Some police departments … do not remember that they are not the language police.”\

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•••\ \ Rep. Connie Mack, R.-Fla., has endorsed Mittens. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Isn’t that kinda like betting on a horse with three legs?\

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•••\ \ Seen “Indoctrinate U?” Some universities do not remember that they aren’t the speech police, either. We truly hope someone will finance this fab film for wide release. It should be seen:\

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•••\ \ That dude now in jail for allegedly raping a 3-year-old and videotaping it … we think, if he’s convicted, that he’s going to have a real “pleasant” time in prison. All we’re sayin …\

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•••\ \ That trooper in Tennessee who resigned over having a tryst with a porn star he’d stopped for a traffic violation — and perhaps trying to hook up with other ladies in lieu of giving them a citation — is quite a Cooter, no? Probably one of those dudes with two first names. We’d love to see a photo of the “victim.” Just because we would. Tee.\

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•••\ \ If our Big Daddy Dick Cheney is Barack O’s eighth cousin, does this mean he might endorse him? Or advise him? Wouldn’t it be super cool to find out decades from now that he did? Mysteries.\

\ Andrea Billups, The Washington Times