The Washington Times - January 23, 2008, 03:20PM
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Hollywood

\ Speaking of Florida, our Hubris ‘N’ Handbags Tour continues there on Saturday and we could not be happier. BECAUSE IT’S WARM. And also sunny. The condo market there is so bad, we may just help ourselves to a little real estate steal. Possibilities are endless. Yes, we’re toting sunscreen. Our skin is now the color of those fish at the bottom of the ocean, you know, the translucent ones. Ick. After the political season there is over, we will return for our annual spring training baseball trip. We urge you baseball freaks to consider such a vacation. A baseball game in the sunshine every day. Stars, up close and personal. Nice ball parks, yummy hot dogs and bad food, icy beers. It’s just a little slice of America and we think all y’all would love it. It’s a regular part of our holiday rotation.\

\ We could not be more delighted that the new NASA martian causing such a buzz looks entirely like Sasquatch! It’s a Big Foot galaxy, people. It really is. Time’s man of the year for 2008. Get on the bandwagon now.\

\ If anyone had a real idea about the unholy amount of drugs afloat in the Hollywood realm, they’d call in the DEA. There are any number of Heath Ledgers out there, on the verge of one toke over the line. Maybe someone will be scared straight over this one. What a tragedy. We see where Jack Nicholson reportedly said “I warned him,” of Ledger’s behavior. So see, someone knew. Many knew. Heath wasn’t the only one of his generation or age group or even actor status who had a problem. It’s Hollywood’s dirty little secret.\

\ We got private Pilates lessons as a Christmas gift and you know, it’s the only time we actually are still and focused on something other than work. Crimony, perhaps there is something to this balance stuff. We must investigate further.\

\ — Andrea Billups, The Washington Times