The Washington Times - January 25, 2012, 03:35PM

Alex Ovechkin is not only the Washington Capitals’ captain and highest-paid player, but he’s a big guy on left wing. The Caps were missing that against the big Boston Bruins, but they got three goals from Mathieu Perreault to win 5-3.

“Obviously we’re short guys, and I think everyone stepped up on a new level and played the way we need to to be successful,” said goal-scorer Cody Eakin. Cue Randy Newman.


Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

Obviously Eakin meant the Caps were playing short without Ovechkin, Nicklas Backstrom and Mike Green. But it was a “Short People” kind of game, as Dennis Wideman was the tallest player to score a goal, and that was on an empty net. Perreault is generously listed at 5-foot-10 and admitted he’s about 5-8; Eakin is also generously listed at 6 feet.

Wideman’s probably closer to 6 feet.
Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
`Round here

Even the Boston Bruins got contributions from their shorter players, with 5-9 Brad Marchand, 6-1 Tyler Seguin and 6-0 Rich Peverley lighting the lamp. 

Short people are just the same
As you and I
(A fool such as I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It’s a wonderful world)

Perreault’s teammates smiled ear-to-ear talking about the 24-year-old’s first career hat trick.

“He’s been in and out of the lineup. He comes to the rink with that smile on his face and he’s got a great personality, great guy to be around,” forward Matt Hendricks said.” I feel great for him. I’m so happy.”

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love

Perreault was still feeling the pain from shaving cream in his left eye when talking to reporters after the victory, which was the best game of his NHL career. He talked about getting to go somewhere warm with his girlfriend to recharge over the All-Star break but was quick with a joke.

“Yeah. I’m on fire,” he said. “I wish we would have another game tomorrow.”
They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello

Perreault stood well below Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara’s face when he was called for high-sticking. Naturally, he scored on his first shift out of the penalty box.

“I barely touched him. He’s like 7 foot tall. I’m 5-8. I was kind of pissed,” Perreault said. “But I came back, and then I got that bounce right into me and I put it in the net.”

Perreault was filling the night all night long, it seemed. He only played 13:56 but scored three times and got to soak in the lime light afterward.

This is what you dream of. You dream to play in the NHL, but when you get a hat trick, it’s even better,” he said. “It’s just a great feeling.”
… They’re gonna get you every time
Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
‘Round here

Except Tuesday night. Short people worked out OK for the Caps.

(Disclaimer: this blog post written by a 5-foot-6 beat reporter. Please don’t take short jokes seriously.)