The Washington Times - December 9, 2011, 05:14PM

A selection of my 140-character musings on Twitter (@dandalyonsports) the past seven days – for those of you who don’t follow me (yet).

Saturday

SEE RELATED:


If ever there was a candidate for anger management, it’s Furious Bradley, who just blocked a punt for a TD for Southern Miss. #CFB

It’s beginning to look like Tiger Woods, when he returns here in July for the AT&T National, might actually resemble Tiger Woods. #PGATour

… This is a relief. Because there have been times in recent years when Tiger has resembled Jerry Lewis in “The Caddy.” #PGATour

… That said, I’d be surprised if this was the last swing change in Tiger’s career. The guy’s just a tinkerer. Never satisfied. #PGATour

With the holiday season approaching, I’d like to declare a moratorium on pederasty scandals in college athletics. #NCAA

Ndamukong Suh crashes car into tree. My only question is: Was the tree inside or outside the pocket? #NFL #Lions

Here’s the adjective I’d apply to RG3: Graceful. Throws gracefully. Moves gracefully. Gregory Hines meets Joe Montana. #Baylor #CFB

Never been harder to look graceful at QB. Defenses blitz from every angle, do exotic things to confuse you. RG3 sees order in chaos. #Baylor

6 GA (2-2-2) in Dale Hunter’s first 3 games is a good place for the #Caps to start, even if they have dropped 2 of those games… .

… Just shows how defensively negligent they were in Boudreau’s final days. Obviously, they can do it if they want to… .

… The question the organization should be asking itself is: Why do we have to fire a coach to get them to want to? #Caps

Sunday

I always wait until the last minute to cast my #Heisman vote, just in case one of the front-runners gets caught with a sheep. #Baa

Redskins-Jets Game

Well, it’s Dec. 4, and the #Redskins have yet to have a game day that’s made you say, “Thank God for covered parking.”

The #Redskins, by the way, are playing the #Jets only because the New Jersey Institute of Technology doesn’t have a football team. #Cupcakes

Gano’s FG try clears the defensive line … and then it clears the crossbar! #Redskins 10, #Jets 7.

The reports about #Redskins Trent Williams and Fred Davis being suspended have me wondering about players’ token workouts during lockout.

#Jets run into Rocca. In Aussie Rules Football, there’s a much stiffer penalty than 5 yards. They send the guy to Devil’s Island. #Redskins 

Williams and Davis reportedly facing drug suspensions, but it’s Grossman who’s hallucinating. Just threw pass to nobody. Grounding. #Redskins

Guessing the #Redskins band has been told not to play “When the Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” at halftime. #ReportedDrugSuspensions

This #Jets offense just screams Schottenheimer, doesn’t it #Redskins fans? And it takes a long time to scream Schottenheimer.

Grossman so far is 14 for 33, and at least a half-dozen of them qualify as Unidentified Flying Objects. #Redskins

Monday

Did you notice Schwartz didn’t cause a scene tonite when he went out for the post-game shake? Payton was armed with crutches. #Saints #Lions

Tuesday

The harder #Caps’ new conference, the better, as far as I’m concerned. Whatever it takes to keep their minds from wandering. #NHL

… It’s really a shame, though, that we won’t be able to stoke the flames of that burgeoning Washington-Winnipeg rivalry. #Caps #Jets

Not only do I think the #Packers are going to run the table, I’m also investing heavily in cheese futures. #NFL #DownWithPorkBellies

By the time he’s done, Rodgers lasting until 24th pick in ’05 will be a bigger travesty than Marino lasting until 27th in ’83. #Packers

The #Redskins, you may recall, had the 28th pick in ’83. Bobby Beathard, their general manager, loved to joke about that. He’d say …

… “I’m the only GM in the league who doesn’t have to apologize for not taking Marino.” Bobby “settled” for Darrell Green at 28. #Redskins

Something else that’s funny: The #Redskins also had the next pick in ’05 after Rodgers went off the board. Ended up taking Jason Campbell.

… Of course, the #Redskins could have opted for Rodgers with 9th pick, which they also had. Instead: Carlos Rogers (pre-contact lenses).

Boy, that ’05 draft wasn’t very good. The Top 10 picks have been to only 4 Pro Bowls combined. And making the PB has never been easier. #NFL

Somebody else who was in that ’05 draft: Jammal Brown (13th, Saints). Yes, the #Redskins’ RT went 11 picks before Aaron Rodgers. #Packers

Well, it’s official. Fred Davis and Trent Williams are now eligible for the Highsman Trophy. #Redskins #NFL

“Suspended without pay,” by the way, means: Will have to find something else to roll up joints with. #Redskins #NFL

In the Year of Tebow, maybe the #Redskins — minus Davis and Williams — should consider punting on 1st down, last fashionable in the ’40s.

This gives the #Redskins 3 drug-suspended players this season, Phillip Buchanon being the other. The only thing they’re leading the #NFL in?

Drug suspensions in the #NFL should be like red cards in soccer. Your offense or defense should have to play a man short. #Redskins

One of the reasons I propose that is because Tony Dorsett’s record 99-yard run from scrimmage was accomplished with only 10 men. #Redskins

Another of the reasons I propose that is that the #Redskins are 4-8 this season using 11 men. Less might be more.

Wednesday

Tim McCarver has won the Frick Award. Sounds like something you’d give Bruce Boudreau if he ever cleaned up his language. #Caps

Capitals-Senators Game

If Sergei Gonchar can contrive a way to play two more seasons, he’ll have lasted as long in the #NHL as Dale Hunter (19). #Caps #Senators

Every time Ovechkin scores now, you wonder: Is this going to be the goal that awakens the Russian bear from his slumber? #Caps #Senators

Thursday

Hope this pitcher being eyed by the #Nats — Yu Darvish — has an exotic delivery. Then I can refer to him as a Whirling Darvish. #MLB

Caron Butler, who has averaged 65 games a season in his 9-year #NBA career, is still an $8 million-a-year player? Life is good. #Wizards

#Giants’ Justin Tuck on the #Cowboys: “They hate us and we hate them.” It’s like the opposite of the Barney song. #NFL #PurpleDinosaurs

Fenway Park turns 100 in April. At least, they think it’s 100. They’re still waiting for the carbon-dating results. #MLB #RedSox

Fenway opened the same week the Titanic sank. For the 100th anniversary, the #RedSox should get Celine Dion to sing the national anthem.

I think I know why the #RedSox have been so quiet in free agency: Ben Affleck and his crew took them for a ton of dough in “The Town.” #MLB

The #RedSox, by the way, have come out with a book: “Fenway Park: 100 Years.” That’s how long Dice-K takes between pitches. #MLB

Didn’t know this until just now: Aaron Hernandez, the #Patriots’ fine TE, grew up in Bristol, CT (home of ESPN) and committed …#Redskins

… to play for Randy Edsall at UConn (like his brother had). But he changed his mind and went to Florida instead. #Redskins #Terps

Will never understand why #NFL teams wear throwback uniforms that remind everybody of an era they don’t have any nostalgia for. #Steelers

The real reason the #NBA nixed the Chris Paul trade: The #Lakers refused to include a Kardashian to be named later. #Hornets

Tell me: If the #NBA hadn’t blocked this deal, would the #Lakers, under the new CBA, have been allowed to rob Peter to pay Paul? #Hornets

Friday

This Chris Paul situation reminds me of Bowie Kuhn stepping in in 1976 when Charley Finley tried to gut the #A’s… . #Hornets #Lakers

… Charley wanted to sell Vida Blue to the #Yankees and Rollie Fingers and Joe Rudi to the #RedSox for a few mil… . #Hornets #Lakers

… Commissioner Kuhn invoked the “best interests of baseball” clause and stopped him… . #Hornets #Lakers

… Fingers and Rudi later left in free agency. Blue was traded (acceptably) to the #Giants. Finley lost lawsuit. #Hornets #Lakers

I would have invalidated the Paul trade by invoking the One Ridiculous Trade A Decade Clause. Pau Gasol (2008) was the #Lakers’. #Hornets

Love the #NBA’s amnesty clause (see: #Magic dumping Arenas). If real life was like that, we’d all have perfect credit ratings. #Wizards

In addition to an amnesty clause, Real Life should also have an amnesia clause, as in: “I don’t remember buying that.” #NBA #Wizards

#USC QB Matt Barkley says, “I really am torn” about turning pro. He should do it before he’s really, REALLY torn — in the knee area. #CFB

Good thing Dan Snyder doesn’t own the #Lakers. If somebody prevented Dan from trading for Chris Paul, he’d probably sign RuPaul. #Redskins

I keep waiting for the #NFL to add a new line to the record book: Most Concussions Induced. James Harrison has gotta rank way up there.

In fact, Harrison is so dangerous, he should probably come equipped with an airbag. #NFL