TWIT: The Week in Tweets, April 13

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Friday

Amazing how wicked a closing hole 18 has become at #Augusta. Leader Stenson had a snowman there Thursday + leader Westwood doubled it today.

Moving the tee back a few years ago changed everything. Now, as Norman said, “It’s like trying to drive the ball up a gnat’s ass.” #Masters

#ESPN headline: “Ryan, Ventura have first chat since ‘93 brawl.” Maybe it’s in conjunction with the “Three Stooges” release. #MLB  #Rangers

Warren Sapp is broke? Well, at least I know one thing: According to a waiter who once served me, it didn’t happen because he overtipped. #NFL

So I’m watching the #Arkansas AD talk about Petrino’s crash — with the commercial backdrop behind him — and I’m thinking: …

… “This #Razorbacks crisis is brought to you by Farm Bureau Insurance.” #Arkansas #Petrino

#Tiger keeps leaving himself putts in Lip-Out Land. Not good. #Masters

Getting beaten for two days by Miguel Angel Jimenez might be enough to make #Tiger grow a ponytail. #Masters

In golf, you should only be allowed to mark your ball once. Like a manager can only make 1 trip to the mound. #Masters  #JustPuttTheDarnThing

This being Dufner’s first time playing in the last group at the #Masters, he should thank the golf gods he’s paired with Easygoing Freddy.

The best thing about the #Nats winning on Opening Day against the #Cubs: They get to be undefeated for at least 47 hours. #MLB

The #Masters is exciting, sure, but nothing will ever match the drama of “House Hunters.” #HGTV

People are making way too much of the hissy fit #Tiger threw on 16 tee. So he had a Shooter McGavin Moment. Who doesn’t? #Masters

Saturday

After the way he’s begun the season, I don’t think anybody will be hanging Chad Tracy a breaking ball. (Hanging Chad, get it?) #Nats

Byron Nelson: “We don’t produce golfers down here [in Texas] the way we used to, because everyone in the country plays … #Masters

“… under the same conditions — watered fairways. So you can say that great golfers are created under bad conditions… . #Masters

“… Personally, I don’t think there’s any question about it. It was tough playing back then [in the ‘30s and ‘40s]… . #Masters

“… You had to learn to play diddy-bump shots, chip and runs, and on hard greens.” (From this book: http://amzn.to/HTgLDm#Masters

Phil: 9 pars on the front. #Tiger: 9 pars on the back. I went to the #Masters, and the U.S. Open broke out.

Not to put any pressure on the #Nats, but: No team in Washington baseball history has begun the season with a 3-game sweep on the road.

Of course, a lot of that is opportunity. Many years, WASH teams played league opener at home, then caught a train/plane to someplace. #Nats

 ‘38 Senators started season w/ 3 straight wins over A’s in Washington. That was the last 3-game sweep by D.C. team to begin season. #Nats

Those ‘38 Senators were 5 years removed from Washington’s last World Series. Ended up 75-76 under Bucky Harris. http://bit.ly/HpKLZa #Nats

FYI: Hunter took over the 12-9-1 #Caps and went 30-23-7. Bruce took over the 7-13-4 #Ducks and went 27-23-8. #NHL

If you know anything about mental makeup of #Caps, you know it does them no good to be reminded they played well vs. #Bruins this season.

Gives you a warm feeling, doesn’t it, to know the Southeast Division champs came out on the losing end 44 of 82 times this season? #Caps

I mean, at least the #Caps won (42) more than they lost (40, counting OT/SO). They’re the only team in the division that can say that.

There’s no truth to the rumor that this Peter Hanson fellow who leads the #Masters is the fourth Hanson Brother. #Caps #Slapshot

Sunday

#NHL teams that made biggest improvements in ‘11-12: T1. #Bluesand #Panthers +22 points, 3. #Devils +21, 4. #Avs +20, 5. #Senators +18.

#NHL teams that had biggest drop-offs in ‘11-12: T1. #Lightning and #Ducks -19 points, 3. #Habs -18, 4. #BlueJackets -16, 5. #Caps -15.

#NHL division rankings by pts: 1. Atlantic 501. 2. Central 481. 3. Pacific 457. 4. Northwest 444. 5. Northeast 441. 6. Southeast 436. #Caps

#Tiger‘s #Masters in a nutshell: 10 birdies, 15 bogeys, 1 point-after-touchdown. #Augusta

The back 9 on #Masters Sunday is still, at its best, my favorite carnival ride. Greatness meets fallibility meets golf architecture genius.

From the great Dan Jenkins, who’s going into World Golf HOF: “Jason Dufner won $3 million last year and didn’t win a thing… . #Masters

That’s what I find sickening. I want to go back to 60 exempt players, pay the top 20 spots + tell everybody else to go get a job.” #Masters

Plenty more from Jenkins in Scott Michaux’s fine piece in the Augusta Chronicle. http://bit.ly/IvwaY1 #Masters

If you play the Gregg Williams audio backward, I hear, it says, “I … buried … my career.” #Saints #NFL #Redskins

Monday

Only 6 #NHL teams have made playoffs the last 5 seasons — #Caps and #Bruins, who meet in Round 1, plus #Flyers#Pens#RedWings, #Sharks.

The #Flyers and #Pens, of course, also meet in the first round. #NHL #Caps #Bruins #RedWings #Sharks.

With the #Caps seeded 7th, keep in mind only two 7th seeds in the last 20 years have made the Eastern Conference finals… . #NHL

Those lucky 7th seeds were the 2010 #Flyers and the ‘99 #Sabres, both of whom advanced to the Stanley Cup Finals before losing. #NHL #Caps

If you want to go back a little further, though, the #Caps were seeded 7th one of the two times they made the conference finals, in 1990.

That was the season Terry Murray replaced brother Bryan as the #Caps‘ coach midway through. #TheBrothersMurray

First we get 6-11 Jon Rauch vs. the #Nats, then we get 6-9 Zdeno Chara vs. the #Caps. It must be Pituitary Week in D.C. sports.

Tuesday

As Marge Schott might say, Ozzie Guillen “was good in the beginning, but he went too far.”

At least Ozzie didn’t say: “I was talking about Bernie Castro.” http://bit.ly/InmbFL #Nats #Orioles

Vin Scully has a cold. Sounds like a story for Gay Talese. http://bit.ly/hYUH4W #MLB  #Dodgers

All we need now is for somebody to accuse Ozzie of sleeping on a Castro Convertible. http://bit.ly/HvUe28 http://bit.ly/IBVuPu #MLB  #Marlins

Who’s going to be the first to say this latest #Redskins signing is much Madieu about nothing? #NFL #Bengals #Vikes #49ers

Is it just me, or does Jayson Werth look like he’s tiptoeing through a minefield every time he goes back on a ball? #Nats #MLB #Phillies

Ethan Frome went sledding. Bobby Petrino went motorcycling. #LifeImitatingArt #Razorbacks

One possible defense for Petrino: If #OklahomaState can have a 28-year-old quarterback, I can have a 25-year-old mistress. #Razorbacks

About the only way it could be worse for Petrino is if Sean Pamphilon were filming a documentary on him. #Razorbacks #Saints  #NFL

Wednesday

“Don’t cry at the beginning of a date. Cry at the end like I do.” What movie did that come from? #NFL #MLB #NBA #NHL

Answer: Bonnie Hunt said it to Renee Zellweger in “Jerry Maguire” (which I’m catching a few minutes of). #NFL #MLB #NBA #NHL

Speaking of Renee Zellweger, she went to the same high school as what quarterback of an #NFL playoff team?

Answer: She and the #Bengals‘ Andy Dalton both graduated from Katy (Texas) High. #NFL

Zellweger, btw, turns 43 this month. In other words, if SHE’d been on the back of Petrino’s motorcycle, nobody would have said a word. #Hogs

Thursday

There oughta be a law preventing the #Nats‘ home opener from being held on the same day as the #Caps‘ playoff opener. #MLB #NHL

On the plus side, at least the #Caps HAVE a playoff opener. #NHL #Nats #MLB

As I always say, if you’ve got strong pitching and the wind blowing in, who needs 1908? #Nats #Reds #MLB

One difference between last year’s #Nats and this year’s #Nats: Matt Stairs isn’t part of the extra-inning equation here. #Reds #MLB

Gio Gonzalez just found out how Jordan Zimmermann went 8-11 with a 3.18 ERA last season. 7 innings, no runs, no decision. #Nats  #Reds #MLB

Looks like the #Bruins are going to keep hitting the #Capsuntil they activate Dale Hunter. #NHL

None of this 4-on-4/shootout garbage for the #Caps anymore. Gotta love playoff hockey. #Bruins #NHL

So which is the worse way to lose, on a wild pitch in the 10th inning or 1-0 in overtime? #Nats #Caps #Reds #Bruins

Love to know how many goalies have pitched a shutout for the first 3 periods in their first #NHL playoff game. #Holtby #Caps #Bruins  #NHL

Knuble was reminiscing this week about the smaller ice surface at the Old Garden and how games there tended to be “footballesque.” #Caps

Game 1 looked very “footballesque” to me. The #Caps might want to break out the flak jackets for Game 2.

Interesting: Varlamov also lost his first #NHL playoff game 1-0. Game 2 of 2009 #Rangers series. Here’s the box:http://bit.ly/Ik9P1t #Caps

Varly, by the way, was just shy of his 21st birthday when that game was played. Holtby is 22. #Caps #NHL #Rangers

According to http://hockey-reference.com, the last goalie 22 or younger to lose 1-0 playoff game in OT was Marty Brodeur in ‘94 vs. #Sabres#Devils

Brodeur lost a 4-OT duel with the great Dominik Hasek that night. Maybe THAT’ll make Holtby feel better. The box: http://bit.ly/Ik9P1t  #Caps

That Brodeur-Hasek classic came in Game 6 of a 1st-round series between the #Devils and #Sabres. NJ bounced back to win Game 7. #Caps

Friday

Any day now I expect a #Nats fan to take a picture of a #StrasBurgerin such a way that it can be presented as evidence of a flying saucer.

Earth to #Caps: After losing 1-0 in OT in playoff opener, I’m not looking for Cool and Calm. I’m looking for guys who are P.O.’ed. #Bruins

That was a gigantic opportunity the #Caps let pass by. They wasted a great performance by Holtby. They shouldn’t be sad, they should be mad.

If the #Caps aren’t royally ticked, then they still don’t understand playoff hockey. There are no Nice Tries. They’re too old for that.

Letting Game 1 slip away increased the likelihood of a long, punishing series (at best). Not the #Caps‘ kind of series. #Bruins

The quick breakdown in overtime — 5 on 5 — also reminded you what a fraud regular-season OT is. Totally different game in playoffs. #Caps

I think what I’m saying is, the #Caps still don’t have anybody who’ll stand in the middle of the locker room and scream, “Never again!”

In the playoffs it’s often a case of: Who cracks first? The #Caps  cracked in Minute 62. The #Bruins‘ refusal to crack won them the 2011 Cup.

And that’s my Twitter Column of the Day, folks. I just wish the #Capswere as sick of these results as I am of commenting on them.

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About the Author
Dan Daly

Dan Daly

Dan Daly has been writing about sports for the Washington Times since 1982. He has won numerous national and local awards, appears regularly in NFL Films’ historical features and is the co-author of "The Pro Football Chronicle,” a decade-by-decade history of the game. Follow Dan on Twitter at @dandalyonsports –- or e-mail him at ddaly@washingtontimes.com.

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