The Washington Times - July 20, 2012, 12:06PM

Saturday

Every blocking back should be required to wear a sign on the back of his jersey that says: How am I driving? #NFL

SEE RELATED:


If Zimmerman keeps hitting like this, #Nats should consider having a Cortisone Night. 1st 20,000 fans get injected in body part of choice.

I’ve got no problem with #PennState leaving the statue of Joe Paterno up — as long as they put a statue of a seeing-eye dog alongside him.

The raised index finger in the #Paterno statue has taken on new meaning. Now it looks like he’s hailing a taxi — to get out of Dodge. #PSU

Sunday

Maybe the #Nats should keep Strasburg on the roster as a pinch hitter after he reaches his innings limit. He’s no Matt Stairs. #Marlins

Strasburg now hitting .385. Only 3 pitchers since 1901 have hit higher for a season (min. 50 AB). Walter Johnson (.433, 1925) is one. #Nats

The last to do it was Carl Sheib of the 1951 Philly A’s (.396). Sheib posted a 1-12 record as a pitcher that year. #Nats

If you took the #Marlins‘ three outfield arms and rolled them into one, you still wouldn’t have Roberto Clemente. #Nats

Speaking of Walter Johnson’s .433 season, it included a game-winning 2-run pinch HR in the 9th in this game: http://bit.ly/NpT61v  #Nats

Ozzie Guillen thinks Bryce Harper is “unprofessional.” In other words, Bryce is no Fidel Castro. #Nats #Marlins

Why do I think the Ozzie Pine Tar Flap had something to do with Davey having Joel Peralta’s glove checked? #Nats #Marlins #Rays

Monday

If the #Caps aren’t going to hold a convention this year (because of the labor uncertainty), the least they could do is hold a caucus.

@ckpeay says #Wizards might use amnesty provision on Blatche. Now if Grunfeld can just be granted clemency for giving him a $35M extension.

Zambrano motoring down the first base line is like a defensive tackle making off with a fumble. #Nats #Marlins #MLB

Seth Greenberg and #ESPN are a perfect match. He’ll really upgrade their NIT coverage. #Hokies

Tuesday

Amnesty. Larry Bird rights. Mid-level exception. All the #NBA needs now is a Mascot Write-off. #Wizards

#Nationals Park, home of the 8-lb. StrasBurger, has been ranked one of Top 10 Vegetarian-Friendly Ballparks by PETA. (Insert joke here.)

Maybe I missed it. Have the #Nats come out with a version of the #StrasBurger made with soybeans?

The more I think about it, the StrasBurger is a perfect example of robbing PETA to pay Paul. #Nats

Wednesday

Kudos to Adam Oates for adding Calle Johansson to his #Caps staff. Just a class guy, even when a Penguin cheap-shotted him in ‘94 playoffs.

G Josh LeRibeus, the #Redskins‘ 3rd-rounder, has signed and will be on the field tomorrow. Was probably just waiting for the heat to break.

Did u see some #Nats sent Guillen an autographed Harper bat w/ pine tar smeared on it? It’d be even funnier if it wasn’t really pine tar.

It’s crazy, I know, but every time I hear “Danny ‘Left Side’ Espinosa,” I think: Lisa “Left Eye”Lopes. #Nats #Mets #MLB

In case you’re wondering, Clippard is only 10th pitcher in modern times to get a save for pitching 1 inning and giving up 2 HR. #Nats #MLB

The first to do it was Dizzy Dean in 1932. The last was C.J. Wilson vs. the #Orioles in 2008. The box: http://bit.ly/Mtmu57  #Nats #MLB

You know you’re going good when your closer has a hiccup two nights in a row and you still win both games. #Nats #Mets #MLB

Other names on the list, besides Diz and Wilson, include Trevor Hoffman (twice), Billy Wagner and Rob Nen. So Tyler’s in good company. #Nats

Ty isn’t even the 1st P w/ glasses to get a save for pitching 1 inning + giving up 2 HR. This guy did it in ‘70. http://bit.ly/MxbNCc  #Nats

One man’s oblique strain is another man’s “Doc, it hurts when I do THIS.” (Doctor: “Then don’t do that.”) #Nats

Thursday

Watching Gio loosen up in the #Nats outfield by playing long catch. I think I could get a hit off him if he was throwing from 90 feet.

At the very least, I’m sure I could manage a few loud fouls. #Nats

Bryce Harper’s walk/strikeout ratio (29/57) is almost identical to Ryan Zimmerman’s (28/56). #Nats #Mets

The #Mets‘ shift gave LaRoche all kinds of room to drop a bunt. Too bad the pitcher is throwing knucklers. #Nats #MLB

Like Tyler Clippard, Gio Gonzalez had been very good at not giving up homers — until recently. 5 (and counting) in last 5 starts. #Nats

The #Mets are so far ahead — 9-1, with Dickey on the hill — that they could probably let Choo-Choo Coleman play a few innings. #Nats #MLB

#Teddy had a huge early lead in the Presidents Race, then he screeched to a halt. It was as if a bull moose had jumped on his back. #Nats

Things that are like hitting against R.A. Dickey: 1. Trying to kill a housefly with a sledgehammer. #Nats #Mets #MLB

Desmond with a pinch-hit single in the eighth. Oblique THAT! #Nats

Friday

Snedeker’s play in #British Open is reminiscent of Bobby Clampett at Troon in ‘82 (67-66 start, 11 under, 5 shot lead). Bobby finished T10.

Graeme McDowell is a fashion consultant away from being a great golfer. #BritishOpen