The Washington Times - March 2, 2012, 01:10PM

Saturday

When I add it all up — athleticism, throwing accuracy, smarts, size — #RG3 reminds me mostly of Steve Young. #Redskins

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The #RedSox reinstate the 18th Amendment — in their own clubhouse, at least. Can bootlegging be far behind? #MLB

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody opened a speakeasy inside the Green Monster. It’s got a bathroom. (Right, Manny?) #RedSox #MLB

Can’t decide if Ryan Zimmerman’s contract really takes this long or if the #Nationals just like the attention. #MLB

Sunday

If “The Artist” wins best picture, everybody on next year’s Oscar telecast should be required to do the show in pantomime.

Now Ben & Jerry’s is apologizing to #Lin. And I’ve gotta tell ya, while I’ve heard good things about Ben, I’ve always wondered about Jerry.

 If Ben & Jerry are telling Jeremy Lin they’re sorry, can Bert & Ernie be far behind? #Linsanity

T.O. caught 3 TD passes in his Indoor Football League debut, and from what I’m told, the 3rd was every bit as meaningless as the first.

Was just reminded on #Oscar telecast that we lost Jane Russell in the past year. She was once married to Pro Football HOFer Bob Waterfield.

Down to earth, Jane was. Would follow Bob’s #Rams on the road in the ‘50s and party with them after game. The wife of an #Eagles … #NFL

… player once told me of having drinks with Jane at a postgame get-together in Philly. She said, … #NFL #Eagles #Rams

“One of the other wives went in the ladies room and wrote on the wall, ‘Jane Russell peed here.’” #NFL #Eagles #Rams

Brad Pitt was good in “Moneyball,” but I’m still waiting for Tim Robbins to get his #Oscar for playing Nuke LaLoosh in “Bull Durham.” #MLB

“Moneyball” probably would have had a better shot at an #Oscar if they had just filmed the third-base coach giving signs. #TheArtist#MLB

Monday

I suspect George McPhee is burning up the phone lines on Trade Deadline Day. Not to worry, though. He has unlimited free calling. #Caps #NHL

Has an #NHL trade ever included a Zamboni driver to be named later? #Caps

Tuesday

He didn’t mention him by name, but maybe GMGM was thinking of Heathcliff Slocumb when he refrained from making a deal at the deadline. #Caps

Jason Varitek, who’s retiring Thursday, is one of the players the Red Sox got for Slocumb at ‘97 deadline. The other was Derek Lowe. #Caps

Slocumb won 7 more games (and saved 16) in his career. Tek played 15 seasons with Sox, and Lowe, now with Indians, is starting 16th. #Caps

Anyway, that’s the kind of mistake a team can make when it decides it “needs” somebody. It can give away prospects like Tek and Lowe. #Caps

I went to the Daytona 500 … and the 24 Hours of LeMans broke out. #NASCAR

It’s about time Martina Navratilova was on “Dancing with the Stars.” Maybe the greatest doubles partner in tennis history. #DWTS

Martina won her last Grand Slam mixed doubles title at the 2006 U.S. Open (with Bob Bryan). She was just shy of her 50th birthday. #DWTS

Roger Federer (25) and Maria Sharapova (19), who won the singles titles at the Open that year, were a combined 44 years old. #DWTS

#NFL will kick off season Weds. nite to avoid stepping on Obama’s toes. You know who used to play Weds. nite games? The Portsmouth Spartans.

Anxious to see what the new and unimproved #Caps can do tonight against the #Islanders#NHL

George McPhee seems intent on reaffirming the maxim: Some of the best trades are the ones you don’t make. #Caps #Islanders #NHL

How many of you think Dale Hunter is chewing gum — and how many of you think he’s chewing 8-inch nails? #Caps #Islanders #NHL

Plaxico says he’d love to join forces with Vick on the #Eagles. Hey, when does Rae Carruth get out? #NFL #Panthers

#Kobe has a broken nose. Of course, when he played with Shaq, his nose was permanently out of joint, so it’s almost the same thing. #NBA

This much we know: If #Kobe needs a nose job, he’s in the right place. In L.A., they probably have drive-thrus. #Lakers #NBA

Did you see Texas A&M and Missouri will have to pay $12.41 million to exit the #Big12? Fortunately, they have E-ZPass. #Mizzou #Aggies

Wednesday

Thinking idly about #Linsanity reminded me of Sarunas Jasikevicius’s 27-pt game for Lithuania in 2000 Olympic semis vs. U.S. #Knicks #Terps

After a visit to an ENT guy yesterday, I’m kicking myself for never referring to the #NFL of old as the Deviated Septum Association.

Nicholas Lemann in the NY Review of Books: “American social masculinity now makes its primary home in the conversational bonhomie … #NFL

… that surrounds sports.” #NFL

Don Ohlmeyer, one of Howard Cosell’s ABC producers, in Mark Ribowsky’s bio of Humble Howard: “Most people in entertainment … #NFL

… act like children. Nobody I’ve known in the business — including myself — had an emotional age above 15. We are not … #NFL

… normal people. Success can be here one day and gone the next, and it’s a hell of a long way down… . #NFL

… Howard, as big as he became, never felt he was safe, and that feeling was infectious to those around him.” #NFL

More Lemann: “Can anybody name the heavyweight boxing champion of the world? Boxing still exists, but it has begun to feel … #NFL

… like a cultural artifact from the vanished heyday of the American working class. Football is much more distinctively American…#NFL

… than boxing — attempts to export it have mainly failed — and its triumph in popularity and commerce over all other sports … #NFL

… is a little mysterious. The heavily armored players are hard to see, it’s violent, the action is highly sporadic, and … #NFL

… the teams play fewer games than in any other major professional sport. Whatever the reason for its success, to maintain its … #NFL

… position football has to absorb all the main currents of the culture as they present themselves.” #NFL

It’s hard to think of Brandon Bass, the #Celtics‘ forward, without thinking of Kilgore Trout, the writer in the Kurt Vonnegut books. #NBA

I’m reading baseball has a “soft” deadline (Thursday) for firming up plans for a 10-team playoff field… . #MLB

… Hope it isn’t anything like the “soft” opening for Al Pacino’s casino in “Ocean’s Thirteen.” #MLB

Thursday

FYI: This Dino Laurenzi Jr. guy has collected almost as many urine samples (600+) as Ryan Braun has played major league games (729). #MLB

Idle thought: Will it hurt the #Redskins in the RG3 Sweepstakes because the #Rams might prefer to trade him out of the conference? #NFL

Granted, Elway was traded in-conf., but EManning, Vick, Leaf, George, Bartkowski + Bert Jones — all Top 2 picks – weren’t. #Redskins #NFL

Wonder if the #Steelers might lose Mike Wallace like the #Jets lost Laveranues Coles — to You Know Who — back in ‘03. #Redskins

Wallace through three seasons: 171 catches, 3,206 yards, 24 TDs. Coles: 170 catches, 2,502 yards, 13 TDs. #Steelers #Jets #Redskins#NFL

The first-rounder the #Redskins gave up for Coles was 13th overall. #Pats eventually wound up with it and took DE Ty Warren. #Steelers#Jets

If the #Redskins ever signed Wallace, of course, it would cost them the sixth pick. Waaaaay too expensive. #Steelers #Jets #NFL

Assuming #Rams also want a No. 1 next year for RG3, they’re probably trying to decide: Which team’s ‘13 No. 1 might be worth most? #Redskins

I still say it takes a lot of guts to trade a talent like RG3 — even if you do have Bradford. Could haunt you forever. #NFL #Rams #Redskins

Something else to ponder: If #Rams trade RG3 to team that plays him right away, does that increase or decrease value of ‘13 No. 1? #Redskins

Wrote a while back that the #Rams should draft RG3, decide which QB is better and then trade the loser. Still believe that. #Redskins#NFL

Here’s the argument I made several weeks ago, btw, for the #Ramsdrafting RG3 and keeping Bradford, too. http://bit.ly/zRMPU4#Redskins #NFL

Friday

Never cease to be amused by how #NFL teams abuse the franchise player designation (originally known as the John Elway Rule)… . #Broncos

… The #Jaguars, for instance, reportedly might tag K Josh Scobee. Good thing practice squadders can’t be franchised. Or can they? #NFL