The Washington Times - March 30, 2012, 10:45AM

Friday 

I should open a second, anonymous, Twitter account and call it: Stuff I’d Get Crucified For If I Ever Tweeted It. 

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For instance: Wouldn’t it be funny if Verne Lundquist said, “The cheerleaders for tonight’s game have been approved by …” oh, never mind.

FYI, Joba Chamberlain: If you or a loved one has been injured on a trampoline, call us now at 1-877-853-7466 for your free consultation. #MLB

Hidden Stats: In 5 of his 27 outings for the #Yankees in 2011, Joba Chamberlain’s strike % was lower than Wilt Chamberlain’s FT % (.540).

In the movie that’s sure to be made of Tiger Woods’ life, I’m betting his Achilles is played by Brad Pitt. #PGATour

“The treadmill was invented as a way to punish prisoners in Victorian England. It was banned in 1902 for cruelty.” (From the April #Esquire)

Saturday

I coached a youth basketball team once. The guys weren’t too devoted to defense. I used to say our motto was: 40 Minutes of Mild Discomfort.

Only 9 #NCAA champs since ‘60 have won all their tournament games by 10+ pts. (#Kentucky is trying to do it this year.) How many can u name?

Answers: #OhioState ‘60 (19, 17, 22, 20), #UCLA ‘67 (49, 16, 15, 15), UCLA ‘70 (23, 23, 16, 11), UCLA ‘73 (17, 15, 11, 21), … #NCAA

#MichiganState ‘79 (31, 16, 12, 34, 11), #Indiana ‘81 (35, 15, 32, 18, 13), Michigan State ‘00 (27, 12, 17, 11, 12, 13), … #NCAA

#Duke ‘01 (43, 13, 13, 10, 11, 10) and #UNC ‘09 (43, 14, 21, 12, 14, 17). Obviously, it’s harder to do it for 5 or 6 games. #NCAATournament

Some of the stars of the aforementioned teams: #OhioState ‘60 (Lucas, Havlicek, Siegfried), #UCLA ‘67 (Kareem), UCLA ‘70 (Wicks), … #NCAA

#UCLA ‘73 (Walton), #MichiganState ‘79 (Magic), #Indiana ‘81 (Isiah), Michigan State ‘00 (Cleaves), #Duke ‘01 (Battier & Co.), … #NCAA

#UNC ‘09 (Hansbrough, Lawson). #NCAATournament

Highest average margin of victory among that group: #UCLA ‘67 (23.8), #Indiana ‘81 (22.6), #MichiganState ‘79 (20.8), #UNC ‘09 (20.2). #NCAA

#Kentucky has won its 3 games so far by 15, 16 and 12 points. Average margin: 14.3. #NCAATournament

I’m not saying #Kentucky and #UNC are going to win Sunday, but … if you drove from Columbus to #Louisville to Lexington … #Buckeyes

… to Chapel Hill, your total mileage would be 748.5. Have the Final Four schools ever been closer? #Buckeyes #Louisville #Kentucky#UNC

Remember in ‘85, when #StJohns#Villanova#Georgetown — 3 #BigEast teams — and #Memphis were in the Final Four? Well, … #NCAA

… if you drove from NYC to Philly to DC to Memphis, your total mileage would be 1,110.4. #Buckeyes #Louisville #Kentucky #UNC

… And that, folks, is my Rand McNally #NCAATournament Factoid of the Day. #Buckeyes #Louisville #Kentucky #UNC

If #Kentucky joined #Louisville in the #FinalFour, it would be the 8th time two schools from same state made it to the semis. #NCAATourney

The list: #LaSalle/#PennState ‘54, #OhioState/#Cincinnati ‘60-62, #Kentucky/#Louisville ‘75, #UNC/#Charlotte ‘77, #Duke/#UNC ‘91 #NCAATourney

It’s 74.9 miles, btw, from #Louisville to Lexington. Pretty close, but not as close as the 11.1 miles from Durham to Chapel Hill. #UNC#Duke

Had #Louisville + #Kentucky met in the final this year, it would have been closest geographical pairing in title game history. #NCAATourney

Other close ones: #Cincinnati vs. #OhioState ‘61-62 (106.7 mi.), #Villanova vs. #Georgetown ‘85 (136.9). #Louisville #Kentucky#NCAATourney

OK, I’m done being obsessive-compulsive tonight about the #NCAATournament. But only for the time being. #Louisville#Kentucky #UNC #Buckeyes

Sunday

The #Redskins are filing a grievance vs. the #NFL? Hey, this might be the first time Dan Snyder has picked on somebody bigger than himself.

According to the NYT, one wealthy family sought a nanny who could “drive a Zamboni to clean a private ice rink.” http://nyti.ms/H4y55G#Caps

#Tiger up 4 over McDowell. Only six more holes and he can be a no-show at next year’s Tournament of Champions. #ArnoldPalmerInvitational

#Tiger just made another great par-saving putt on the back nine, the kind he’d stopped making the past few years. Scary prospect. #PGATour

Too bad basketball players can’t refer to yardage books like golfers when they get ready to launch 3/4-court shots. #PGATour#NCAATourney

Kind of a vintage #Tiger scoreboard on the day he finally wins again. 5 up on 2nd-place guy, 7 up on 3rd-place guy. #PGATour#ArnoldPalmer

Just two players broke 70 at #BayHill today. They were the only ones who shot better than #Tiger#PGATour#ArnoldPalmerInvitational

Here’s what’s amazing: #Tiger basically disappeared for 2 1/2 years, yet now he’s barely behind #Lefty in the world rankings. #PGATour

Tuesday

Stat of the Day: 60.1. (Average temperature at kickoff for #Broncos‘ 519 home games. They used it to woo Peyton.) http://bit.ly/GY3utv#NFL

Week 1 Weds. nite opener between #Giants + #Cowboys is yet another reminder that no #NFL team lives off its past more than Dallas.#Redskins

#Cowboys haven’t played in conf. title game — never mind Super Bowl — since ‘95. Only 8 teams have had as long a drought. #NFL#Redskins

The other 8 who haven’t made #NFL’s Final Four since at least ‘95 are Lions, #Redskins, Bengals, Bills, Browns, Chiefs, Dolphins and Texans.

Muffet McGraw, ND’s women’s hoops coach, was born in Pottsville, Pa. How many of you knew Pottsville had an #NFL team in the 1920s? #Terps

Well, #UConn and #NotreDame made Kentucky and Maryland look like a couple of mid-majors tonight. Boy, the #BigEast is good. #Terps

Most rebounds per game, first 4 #NBA seasons (since ‘90): Shaq 12.5, Dikembe 12.4, Howard 12.2, Robinson 12.2, Love 12.1, Duncan 12.0.

Wednesday

It’s funny. Magic owns the #Dodgers now, but they were the team of Kareem’s youth. Rejoiced as a kid when Podres beat the #Yanks in ‘55 WS.

I’m all for Magic Johnson owning the #Dodgers, by the way, especially if he puts pitchers and batters on a 24-second clock. #MLB #Lakers

Thursday

If Mark Rypien, who was sacked 7 times in the ‘91 Super Bowl season, has concussion issues, nobody’s safe. #Redskins #NFL#Browns

Rypien started for the #Redskins from ‘88-93. No QB in that period with 1,500+ attempts was sacked less than him. http://bit.ly/H3kSgG#NFL

Least-sacked QBs since ‘69 (2,500+ att.): P. Manning (once every 31.2 att.), Marino (31.0), Doug Williams (29.8), Ryp (26.9). #Redskins#NFL

Compare Rypien’s sack rate to poor David Carr’s (2,264 attempts/266 sacks/one sack every 8.5 attempts). 3X as often. #Redskins #NFL #Texans

First Russell Wilson, now Danny O’Brien. Are they running a university out there in Wisconsin or a Holiday Inn Express? #Terps

Going to Ryan Tannehill’s workout must feel like going to a Ralph Nader rally. #Redskins #RG3 #AndrewLuck #NFL

The #NFL is going to review all turnovers? I’m pretty sure Albert Haynesworth was already doing that. And the danishes, too. #Redskins

So which hockey team will we see tonight, folks, the Washington Jekylls or the D.C. Hydes? #Caps #NHL #Bruins

The last Kentucky team that could have beaten the #Wizards is the Kentucky Colonels of the ABA (Artis Gilmore, Dan Issel + the gang). #NBA

Here’s the Kentucky team that won the ‘74-75 ABA title. It even had a guy named Bird on it — Bird Averitt. http://bit.ly/H1fLNs #Wizards

Is it just me, or have all these pro days for #NFL prospects become like debutante balls?

By the way, if I ever went to one, you’d have no trouble spotting me. I’d be the guy with opera glasses. #NFL

0-0 early in the third in Boston. The #Caps must be dedicating this game to DC United. #NHL #Bruins

Overtime hockey (regular season): The #NHL’s version of a 7-on-7 passing scrimmage. #Caps #Bruins

Laich scores to win the shootout. Shucks, Tim Thomas will never come to the White House now. #Caps #Bruins #NHL