John Edwards: Beyond parody

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Reason’s “Hit & Run”Onion parodySen. John Edwards
John Edwards Vows To End\ All Bad Things By 2011\ \ … According to Edwards, his plan is composed of three steps. Everyday bad things, such as curse words and splinters, would be eradicated during his first six months in office. Next, very bad things, including child abduction, soil erosion, and resurgent diseases such as malaria and tuberculosis, would be ended by the the end of 2009. Finally, extremely bad things — plights such as genocide, species extinction, and virtually every form of cancer — would take a full two years to wipe out
Edwards campaign stays ahead of the game
Finally, Edwards believes we need to protect the city and the region from weather and crime. As president, Edwards will do whatever is necessary to ensure that Katrina never happens again, including building stronger levees and restoring coastal wetlands. Following Katrina, New Orleans has experienced an epidemic in violence. Edwards will strengthen public safety to end the epidemic of crime and violence.
— Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

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