The Washington Times - December 3, 2008, 08:43AM

Mothers today are more likely to lull their babes to sleep with a modern song than a traditional lullaby, the BBC is reporting.

I can believe that. About 30 seconds into James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful,” I’m yawning and looking for my blankey.

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It kind of makes sense, because who nowadays can really relate to those old lullabies?

Rock-a-by baby in the tree top. Why is there a baby in a cradle at the top of a tree? Who did that?

Sleep, baby, sleep. Your father tends the sheep. You’re telling me my dad’s a shepherd? Is that a growth profession?

Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. I know what you are — a large ball of hydrogen undergoing nuclear fusion. Next!

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. Hey, Einstein! I’m a BABY! I’m not going to say a word because I haven’t developed the neural network for speech yet! And why the hell is my father going to buy me a mockingbird? Does he really expect me to play with it? Or even feed it? I’m a BABY, for crying out loud!