The Washington Times - October 24, 2008, 03:59PM

Scientists have discovered that Scotch tape gives off X-rays.

But only when you unroll it in a vacuum.

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This is the scientific breakthrough I’ve been waiting for — a way to cut down on health care costs by making your own X-rays.

Need a dental X-ray? Grab some film and small roll of tape.

Need a chest X-ray? Use the super size roll.

Got a tumor that needs a little radiology? Go to Sam’s Club, buy a couple of cases of Scotch tape wholesale and get to work!