The Washington Times - January 28, 2009, 05:29AM

A member of Great Britain’s House of Lords has confessed that she made up the bogus malady called “cello scrotum,” which has been cited in medical journals for the past 34 years, the Independent is reporting.

Baroness Elaine Murphy, a former professor of psychiatry, says she invented the condition in a letter she submitted to the British Medical Journal.  She says she was surprised the letter was published and that it prompted other mentions of the “condition,” which supposedly caused scrotums to swell.

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Personally I am VERY relieved.  I play the bass fiddle … sitting down.

I would have thought that medical experts should have been suspicious of “cello scrotum” first being reported by a woman cellist. I’m waiting on a second opinion.

I feel sorry for cellists.  Cellists don’t get a lot of respect at school.  The cello isn’t as cool as the guitar or as flamboyant as the violin, and you can’t be in a marching band as a cellist.  Most people can name only one cellist — Yo-Yo Ma.  “Cello scrotum” was the only thing cellists had to look forward to.