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Out of Context Archive: March 2009

• What happens when tomatoes are read to?

  It's a question we've all asked, and soon enough we'll have an answer. Thank you, Royal Horticultural Society. Published March 31 2009

• Fox to produce dating show for average Americans

  People like to see other people find happiness, regardless of what they look like. Published March 31 2009

• Obama administration drops 'war on terror'

  It's a tactical move to clarify the issue. I think. Published March 31 2009

• Clinton gets heavenly art lesson

  Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has learned something about Mexican art. It can be divine. Published March 30 2009

• Brit official's hubby's porn bill riles Parliament

  It's hardly the Profumo affair, but in this economy it's enough. Published March 30 2009

• AIG exec sought donations for Dodd

  An investigative exclusive reveals that an AIG executive pressed employees for donations to Sen. Chris Dodd. Now that's an insurance company that has its priorities straight. Published March 30 2009

• Firm aims to grow mustard plant on moon

  A biosphere-building company looked skyward and said, "You know what the moon needs? Shrubbery." Published March 28 2009

• Czech PM cites AC/DC in stimulus critique

  Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek changed his criticism of President Obama's stimulus plan after attending an AC/DC concert. Rock on! Published March 28 2009

• 'Brain gyms' tout mental fitness

  Now you can get a work out for your brain. Just don't try to use any mental steroids. Published March 28 2009

• Research: Men fall in love in 8.2 seconds

  Yeah, that's kinda fast. So I guess being called the "60-Second Man" isn't so bad, after all. Published March 27 2009

• Report: Celebs hire writers to Twitter for them

  If you know how to Twitter, there's probably some celebrity out there who can use your services. Published March 27 2009

• Nevada lawmaker proposes 'hooker tax'

  I think Nevada state Sen. Bob Coffin smells an untapped source of revenue in his state's brothels. Published March 25 2009

• Report: Blago a 'natural' radio host

  Rod Blagojevich's success in radio is something to marvel at. OK, break's over. Published March 25 2009

• Sources: Barbara Walters to retire this summer

  Barbara Walters is planning to hang up her microphone. Published March 25 2009

• Japanese astronaut testing 'stink-free' clothes

  These are clothes you don't have to change very often. But it would still be very nice if you did. Published March 24 2009

• AIG gets a new name

  AIG asks, "What's in a name? No, really. We need to know." Well, it looks like we're going to find out. Published March 24 2009

• Report: Octo-Mom fires free nursing help

  Nadya Suleman says, "I don't need free help. I don't need charity. I don't need a handout. I don't need ... oh, wait. Scratch that last one." Published March 24 2009

• Blagojevich to host radio show

  He may be gone, but he's not forgotten. Rod Blagojevich is determined that will not happen. Published March 24 2009

• UK report of UFO alien with Scandinavian accent

  It's not like a Viking invasion, but it could be. With spaceships! Published March 23 2009

• Astronauts use thrusters to avoid space junk

  Space ain't so empty anymore, and now astronauts spend considerable time avoiding floating junk. Published March 23 2009