- The Washington Times - Friday, August 18, 2000

Government poop

There's a few newly updated federal guidelines that, depending on your age and income, might affect your relationship with your cat or other household pet.
Take 24 CFR [Code of Federal Regulations], part 5, subpart C: "Pet Ownership for the Elderly or Persons with Disabilities." Pertinent provisions include a section dealing with cat-box filler, S-5.350 (b)(2):
"In the case of cats and other pets using litter boxes, the pet rules require the pet owner to change the litter (but not more than twice each week), may require pet owners to separate pet waste from litter (but not more than once each day), and may prescribe methods for the disposal of pet waste and used litter."
In addition, low-income Americans residing in Uncle Sam's public-housing units should pay close attention to Final Rule (24 CFR Part 960): "Pet Ownership in Public Housing."
The rule, just made final on Aug. 9, is rather confusing because, for some unknown reason, pet owners in public housing who aren't disabled or elderly are exempt from the mandatory sanitary standards.
"You'd think it would be the other way around, but who's to argue with the feds?" says one government observer who sent us the regulations.
"Maybe the elderly pet owners have more time on their hands to do such things as empty litter boxes and separate pet waste from litter."

Bunny money

Before we close the chapter on Playboy magazine's interest in national politics, we've obtained a few additional records from the Federal Election Commission.
The most intriguing entry is Playboy Chairman Christie Hefner's $500 donation in 1994 to Virginia Democratic Sen. Charles S. Robb, currently fighting a tough re-election campaign against former Virginia Republican Gov. George F. Allen.
She and her dad, Hugh, must have been feeling guilty when writing the check.
After all, Playboy had earlier paid blonde beauty queen Tai Collins, who claimed she had an affair with Mr. Robb (he swears he only got a "nude massage"), to pose in the magazine.

Inside Hollywood

"I'm now going to reveal a dark little secret about Hollywood: It is run mostly by limousine liberals who are primarily concerned about political correctness."
Hollywood director William Friedkin ("The French Connection," "The Exorcist," "Rules of Engagement") who as far as we know did not attend the Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles in remarks recently to the U.S. Naval Institute's 126th annual meeting and 10th Annapolis Seminar.

What else is new?

President Clinton yesterday declared Washington, D.C., "a major federal disaster area."
No, not for the myriad reasons you'd think. Instead, the declaration follows a line of severe thunderstorms that blew through the nation's capital on Aug. 7.

Flush the 'Gorelet'

Finally, regarding our item yesterday on Vice President Al Gore's inefficient, low-flow, double-flush mode of commodes his policy friends have imposed upon the masses, Jack Moran, of Poquoson, Va., writes:
"As for those two-flush toilets that Al Gore has foisted upon all Americans, down here in southern Virginia, we call them 'Gorelets.' Just thought you'd like to know."

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