- The Washington Times - Monday, December 11, 2000

Amen

'Holy chad!'

Rep. J.C. Watts Jr., Oklahoma Republican, summing up the nation's roller-coaster ride in recent days.

Life goes on

Some things in life are more important than politics, even when the future of the presidency is hanging in the balance.

After the pivotal Florida Supreme Court decision was handed down late Friday and we tried to reach Treasury Secretary candidate Larry Lindsey, the former Federal Reserve Board governor who has spearheaded the shaping of George W. Bush's economic policies, we were told he was in Macedonia "adopting" a child.

Prognosis of the week

"Senator Helms is not sick. He is not in the hospital. He is not on life support. He does not have terminal prostate cancer. He does not have pancreatic cancer. He is absolutely fine and will, God willing, be around to torment you for a long time to come."

Urgent statement issued by Marc Thiessen, press spokesman to Sen. Jesse Helms, the outspoken North Carolina Republican the media love to hate.

Rigged nation

There's an upside to the turmoil over the presidential election, says Llewellyn H. Rockwell Jr., president of the free-marketminded Ludwig von Mises Institute.

"It demonstrates that the process riddled with graft, rigged counts, and media lies does not and cannot bring us heaven on earth," says Mr. Rockwell, whose institute holds firm to the conviction that government should not interfere in the people's affairs.

"For freedom to thrive, we need a depoliticized society, one in which the fate of civilization does not hinge on who is elected," he says. "Far more decisive for our future than any election are the ideas that triumph in our nation's intellectual life. That battle makes the Florida vote count look calm."

Yahtzee!

"In the spirit of the times, we have introduced the 'Gore' rule into our family Yahtzee games. On one turn per game, you get to keep rolling the dice until you finally get the numbers you want. The kids love it, because they are guaranteed at least one Yahtzee."

Inside the Beltway reader Chip Whitmer, of Highland, Utah

Wise guy

Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman will be happy to know that a spiritual theme ran through the 15th Annual Jack Olender Awards at the Kennedy Center.

Buzz Aldrin, who walked on the moon, accepted the America's Role Model 2001 Award by talking about the wonders of space exploration and travel.

Irene Kirkaldy, who in 1954 refused to give up her seat on a segregated interstate bus in Virginia and later, with the help of Thurgood Marshall, won her case in the U.S. Supreme Court then received the Advocate for Justice Award, inscribed with the biblical inscription, "Justice, justice, you shall pursue."

Likewise, U.S. Ambassador to Gambia George Haley, descendant of "Roots" author Alex Haley, received the Peacemaker Award with the biblical words, "Blessed are the peacemakers because they shall be the prophets of God."

And last, but never least, comedian Jerry Lewis was presented the Generous Heart Award for his work on behalf of the Muscular Dystrophy Association, his plaque containing the biblical reference: "The generous heart shall be enriched and he that shall help others shall be satisfied himself."

In keeping with the religious theme, Mr. Lewis then brought the house down with one of his jokes about a minister and a rabbi.

Martha's malady

Celebrity cookbooks women are gobbling up as Christmas gifts are a recipe for ill health, doctors at the Washington-based Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine will charge tomorrow.

Including, our source tells us in advance, new cookbooks by Martha Stewart, Suzanne Somers, George Foreman, and the World Wrestling Federation.

The doctors say they were looking for healthy, cholesterol-free foods, and instead found fatty, artery-clogging dishes like Isaac Hayes' "Deep-Fried Jive Turkey," which calls for a whole bird to be deep-fried in 5 gallons of peanut oil, and Patti LaBelle's "Buffalo Wings with Blue Cheese Dip."

"Martha Stewart's book is a formula for chunky hips and heart disease," says Dr. Neal D. Barnard, PCRM's president.

In fact, none of the 10 celebrity books PCRM has just rated included enough healthy recipes to be even "minimally acceptable."

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