- The Washington Times - Monday, July 31, 2000

I'm going to take it one thought at a time today:

Darryl Strawberry generates more sequels than Jason.

How about those Michael Cooper-led Sparks in Los Angeles?

D.C. United used to be a soccer dynasty.

The marketing of Marion Jones is getting tiresome.

The Boy Owner, in exploring his next potential source of revenue, could start accepting bids from those fans looking to take out a member of the Redskins to dinner.

Charles W. Radcliffe of Annapolis writes: "Your column on the Mike Tyson-Lou Savarese fight was disgraceful. Your savage attack on Savarese was unfair. I doubt you have ever been punched in the jaw by a professional fighter, and I don't think you know diddly about boxing. Please go back to basketball and tiddlywinks and leave the boxing commentary to Thom Loverro."

Response: Darn. Thom Loverro gets to have all the fun, and no, I've never been punched in the jaw by a professional fighter, although I have received a number of threats in that regard, if that counts.

Darryl Strawberry, a committed druggie who is fighting cancer again, apparently expects baseball to be encouraged by the news that he checked out of his treatment center a month early.

The female winner in the shot put competition in Hanoi brings an uncertain package to the athletic arena: male genitalia and ovaries.

Peter Angelos is waving the white flag on his $84 million experiment in Baltimore, and it couldn't be happening to a sweeter guy, as far as baseball-less Washington is concerned.

Maurice D. Marsolais of Fairfax writes: "What kind of example did Leonard Hamilton set for his players at the University of Miami? This man was a teacher, albeit a basketball teacher. Take the money and run, huh?"

Response: Unlike Mike Jarvis, Leonard Hamilton is said to have succumbed to the incredible persuasive powers of Michael Jordan.

The Expos are believed to have increased their attendance to double figures in Montreal.

Life should be easy for the 38-year-old Darryl Strawberry, as it usually is for someone who has 335 career home runs and was the toast of New York City in his early years with the Mets.

Dennis Miller's brand of humor is described as esoteric, which explains everything.

The Boy Owner also could consider pay toilets at the place formerly known as Raljon.

The sequel Hall of Fame includes Jason, Freddie, Chucky and Darryl.

Rocky Balboa and Steve Howe are in the mix, too.

Darryl Strawberry persists as a cautionary tale, although it is the oft-told tale of a down-on-his-luck druggie who has made a zillion bad decisions.

Hugh Hisey of Martinsburg, W.Va., writes: "Brawls on the field. Brawls in the barrooms. Assaulting fans. Beating women. DUIs. Rape. Murder. Eric Fisher tells us that the television ratings for sports are down. No wonder. You can't tell the players in the NFL without a rap sheet. Does Al Michaels need a controversial sidekick? No. He needs 22 players who qualify for the work-release program."

Response: I take it you're not satisfied with Paul Tagliabue's suggestion that the disorder in the NFL is merely a reflection of society.

Darryl Strawberry has drug, financial and health problems, not to mention an athletic clock that is ticking down to the end, but other than that, he is ready to return to baseball.

The natives probably will be calling for Jeff George after Brad Johnson throws three or four incomplete passes in a row.

Nothing gets this city rocking like an old-fashioned quarterback controversy.

Odd as it may be, no one around the NFL seems prepared to concede the Super Bowl trophy to the Boy Owner.

O.J. Simpson, self-appointed victim, sure has been busy in the last week, making the rounds with the media to publicize his askoj.com venture.

Darryl Strawberry has squandered a Hall of Fame career, a considerable portion of his wealth and an unthinkable number of everyone's best wishes, and yet here he is again, testing the depths of baseball's compassion again.

That background noise you hear is Pete Rose whining that baseball treats druggies better than gamblers.

And finally, no one ever said life is fair, and the NCAA has made a lucrative career out of that proposition.

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