- The Washington Times - Wednesday, March 29, 2000

She takes a village

Earlier this month, with campaign cameras rolling, the most famous resident of Chappaqua, N.Y., got herself a library card.
"So, do you have anything here on how to decorate a home?" Hillary Rodham Clinton asked the librarian. Together, the first lady and her new neighbor retrieved a stack of books to help Mrs. Clinton carpet her bag, er, new residence.
It's a good thing the first lady didn't request any books about herself or President Clinton. That's because presidential biographer Meredith Oakley, a political columnist for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette of Little Rock, has discovered it's selected reading only in Chappaqua.
"Scandal Brewing in Suburbia," Miss Oakley headlines her column this week. Nowhere to be found in the library: Barbara Olson's "Hell to Pay," Gail Sheehy's "Hillary's Choice," David Brock's "The Seduction of Hillary Rodham," not even Miss Oakley's own exhaustive biography, "On the Make: The Rise of Bill Clinton."
Miss Oakley says there are 14 copies of the latter estimable tome in the Westchester Library System, but not a one in Chappaqua.
Even "The Case Against Hillary Clinton," the much-hyped new release by Peggy Noonan (a fellow New Yorker) can't be picked off the Chappaqua shelf. Here's a portion of what Mrs. Clinton and her neighbors are missing:
"They have made the American political landscape a lower and lesser thing. They have left our political process distorted and misshapen; they have stopped good things from happening, and allowed bad things to occur; when caught, they have covered-up and dissembled, which in turn has added a new level of sourness, cynicism and confusion to our politics and our culture."
And what about Mrs. Clinton's own yarn, "It Takes a Village"?
Which copy do you want?

Perjured landscape

Question No. 1 on the Census 2000 form, millions of which have already been completed this month and returned to Uncle Sam: "How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment or mobile home on April 1, 2000?"

No union here

A number of major federal employee unions have shown their support for the current administration by providing early endorsements of Vice President Al Gore in his bid to become president.
But what do the union's represented employees, or "bureaucrats" themselves, think about the Gore endorsements?
Interestingly, if not outrageously enough, a FedNews OnLine survey shows 74 percent don't agree, 20 percent do, and 6 percent don't know.

Cheap logic

"I recently received your request for contributions," David Rollo writes in a letter to House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert. "I would really like to contribute to these noble efforts, but am unable to at this time due to the recent increase in gasoline prices.
"I was greatly dismayed to learn through numerous media sources that my Republican Party did not believe in repealing the 'Clinton Gas Tax' since it was 'so small and would not make a big difference' to most American families.
"I am sure you will understand when I inform you that I was planning on contributing the minimum of 'even $25' you requested until I applied your logic and realized this amount is so small it won't make a big difference in your efforts."

Wading in bull

Two years ago, when Hurricane Georges blew into Mississippi, Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott turned on his television and was astounded to see Dan Rather standing outside his home in Pascagoula.
"He was standing in my front yard," Mr. Lott said of the CBS anchorman. "And I could observe the debris and parts of piers and cement blocks sitting in my front yard."
It's been said if a storm is brewing, Dan Rather will be on top of it like, in his words, a raven on road kill.
Last fall, the anchor tracked Hurricane Floyd before the other networks could find it on radar. Syndicated columnist Roger Simon observed that Mr. Rather "has been so excited in recent days that I think there is the real possibility he might wet himself on the air."
Mr. Rather would reply that he owes his career to a hurricane propelled from Texas into stardom by a monster named Carla in 1961. But the Competitive Enterprise Institute says there may be more to these stories than a falling barometer.
"We here have noticed a pattern over the past few years," the CEI's Christopher C. Horner tells this column, "that is, CBS News has become the main conduit for government leaks of 'weather' or climate information."
As in global warming.
Mr. Horner says the CBS Web site is worse, providing numerous links to "warmers," or global-warming alarmists like Greenpeace and the Union of Concerned Scientists.
"We are building a 'CBS Watch' on the CEI Web site with, at least in my mind, if not yet formally, 'Climate, Bull and ' well, you can figure it out, being the operative substitute basis for the [network's] acronym," says Mr. Horner.
"A suitable logo with a bull in waders is in development."

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