- The Washington Times - Tuesday, November 28, 2000

Beautifully bald

"Forget Propecia. Celebs are embracing the cueball look. Longtime baldy Michael Stipe, supermodel Alex Wek, Moby and Billy Corgin have been joined by a brave new band of shiny heads. There's Mel Gibson, who recently shaved his pate; Cate Blanchett who goes hair-free in the upcoming film 'Heaven'; Jared Leto, who got razored after completing 'Requiem for a Dream'; and the young genetic projects on 'Dark Angel' (not to mention … Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson). 'This trend started in Tokyo and London,' says Yoshio of NYC's Oscar Blandi Salon. 'It's kind of spiritual, and when you have a good sense of style and a shaved head, it looks great.' Something Mr. Clean has long known."
Megan Quitkin, writing on "Shiny-Headed People," in the Dec. 1 issue of Entertainment Weekly

Obits for the elite

"No American obits carry more cachet or gravitas than those appearing in the New York Times, the self-anointed paper of record. For many Americans, a prominent obit in the Times is the final seal of earthly success. Posterity can learn of your life and accomplishments, how you became well regarded or reviled, and who you left behind… . It is not surprising, then, to learn that obits are one of the best-read parts of the newspaper. (In two major surveys of daily news consumption in 1982 and 1987, the obits proved more popular than news about the president or the Congress, and TV listings) …

"There may be 1.5 million waitresses in America and 2 million janitors and cleaners, but few, if any, have received obits in the Times. While the occasional beloved street entertainer might get an affectionate obit farewell, by and large New York Times obits are the hard-to-enter preserve of the nation's elite… .

"For those who hope to get an obit, [former] New York Times editor A.M. Rosenthal offers this advice: 'It is best to die before noon, 2 p.m. at the latest, so that there will be decent time for justice to be done before the early evening deadline of the first edition… . All those interested in having the Times sum up their lives, even briefly, should also avoid dying on Saturday, when the deadline is very early.' "

John C. Ball and Jill Jones, from their new book "Fame at Last: Who Was Who According to the New York Times Obituaries"

'Barrage of lies'

"Like his boss, and at the encouragement of his boss … Al Gore is willing to precipitate a constitutional crisis in order to hold on to power. The world's most successful way of transferring power has become the O.J. slow-speed car chase. In a fast-breaking story like the Democrats' attempt to steal an election, it can be hard to keep up with the barrage of lies… .
"The barrage of lies and lawsuits from this reconstituted impeachment task force has one particularly sinister purpose: If he can't win by some corrupt Florida judge, Al Gore's endgame is to delay this as long as possible, just as his boss would do. Not only does this erase the impression that George W. Bush has won the election and he did win the election; he is the president-elect but under the 12th Amendment, the president is to be chosen 'by the majority of the whole number of electors appointed.' If Gore can prevent Florida from appointing its electors by December 18, Gore wins. He wins the presidency with 250, 260 [electoral votes], whatever he has, if he can just prevent Florida from appointing electors. That number 270 is not some magic number from the Constitution. It is a majority of electors appointed… .
"If enough lawsuits are filed, maybe Gore will win the lottery on one, and if not, pointless litigation could get him past the December 18 deadline. The law schools are chock full of droning law professors who will back up these phony legal claims. Having rested up from O.J. and impeachment, they're ready to tackle a presidential election."
Ann Coulter, in a Nov. 15 speech to the Wednesday Morning Club in Beverly Hills, Calif.

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