- The Washington Times - Friday, October 13, 2000

I'm going to take it one thought at a time today:

Maybe it is not too much to expect the Wizards to be in the playoff hunt until April.

I tend to come down with Abe Pollin's optimism at this time of the year.

Even so, it is too much to expect the Wizards to make the playoffs this season, no matter how much Michael Jordan works on Rod Strickland's head.

From alert Vienna reader Courtland J. Jones comes this item in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: "Larry Dixon was a major force in the Cowboys' 27-21 upset victory in Washington. The 55-year-old advance scout estimated that he spent $350 on tickets and parking to watch the Redskins during training camp. It's just a hunch, but [the Boy Owner] probably would rather have had a victory than $350 of Larry Dixon's money."

Hopefully, C.J. Hunter is spending his post-Olympics time trying to determine how he flunked four drug tests.

That is assuming he has recovered from his teary-eyed ordeal in Sydney.

Columbus looks out of place in the NHL standings.

I guess that qualifies as quibbling, considering Nashville.

The Bengals still insist they are in the NFL.

Best wishes to Alonzo Mourning.

Is C.J. Hunter eligible for an Emmy Award?

C.J. Hunter must be one of those method actors.

From an unsigned reader in Southern Maryland comes this: "Deion Sanders is all show and talk."

Response: The sun rises from the east, too.

The local football team's new kicker was bow hunting in Montana when Michael Husted became a bad memory.

Given the desperation, I might have given Mark Moseley a workout.

Baltimore is not in a position to be fussing with the marketing gurus of the Dulles football team, what with Peter Angelos clinging to his baseball team's 20 percent share that comes from Washington.

If you must know, Baltimore, that 20 percent feels like a two-by-four.

This is Harvey Grant's third go-around with the Wizards, if you're interested in odd circumstances.

Abe Pollin points out that his championship team in 1978 was only 44-38 during the regular season, which is true. But that 1978 team had a history of success, including an appearance in the NBA Finals in 1975.

Midnight Madness Warning: The funny-looking guy shouting from your television screen is Dick Vitale.

When Dick Vitale raises his game, it usually hurts your ears.

Marion Jones was going to be a marketing darling until C.J. Hunter intruded on Sydney and gave the best performance by an athlete not participating in the Olympics.

The artist formerly known as Allen Iverson says there was a "good exchange of ideas" after he met with various protesters earlier this week.

The exchange undoubtedly included a lesson in formal English as the artist labors to expand his vocabulary.

Larry Brown, meanwhile, has gone on vacation, ostensibly because of his participation in the Olympics and not the goings-on surrounding the artist formerly known as Allen Iverson.

Dustin Vaitekunas left the Georgia Tech football team after coach George O'Leary installed the 314-pound lineman at quarterback and elected not to employ blockers against a four-man rush.

Dustin Vaitekunas ended up on the ground, Georgia Tech ended up with an investigation, and the player's mother ended up with a potential legal case.

The mother told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "I see this as assault and battery. I want O'Leary arrested. He tried to kill my son."

The new kicker was bow hunting Bambi in Montana, so he has come to the right place. When he is finished with his day job Sunday, he can motor over to the Baltimore-Washington Parkway and thin the herds along there.

A bow hunter could beat the Ravens.

Isn't that out of a movie script?

"The Replacements," right?

Mark McGwire's one at-bat a game is pretty good stuff, at least when he is not intentionally walked.

And finally, the hype enveloping Dennis Miller has run its course, and now it just comes down to the serial ranter resonating with the masses.

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