- The Washington Times - Wednesday, September 6, 2000

Here we go again.
Redskins uber alles.
If you don't believe me, you're either new in this town or such a Capitol Hill wonk that you actually care about campaign reform.
Around here, from Frederick to Fredericksburg, campaign reform this fall will mean the Redskins' efforts to end that run of eight seasons without a Super Bowl appearance.
Messrs. Bush and Gore can, and undoubtedly will, talk until they're blue in the face without anybody in their future hometown of choice noticing. Unless, that is, they talk until they're burgundy and gold in the face.
The same political malaise might even carry past Inauguration Day. After all, that comes only eight days before Super Bowl XXXV, and it behooves us to keep our priorities straight.
Al Gore has been around town long enough to know this. So have Joe Lieberman and Dick Cheney. That leaves W as the only outsider who might think permanent Washingtonians care more about government than football.
Of course, Mr. Bush doesn't have much experience with winning teams. Owning the Texas Rangers formerly our lamented expansion Washington Senators will do that to you.
(We interrupt this column for a scary thought: Do you suppose Dan Snyder might run for president someday? Nah, because you can't fire Congress when it disagrees with you.)
The point is, if you're not a Redskins fan, better get out of town before the election, no matter what your political persuasion might be. From now until February, there will be no other issues that matter. High gas prices? The number of presidential debates? Bush's smirk vs. Gore's smarm? Forget it. We have got big things on our minds, such as maybe Brad vs. Jeff, Deion vs. Darrell or LeCharls vs. unemployment.
Speaking of those unspecial teams, somebody ought to check whether LeCharls McDaniel played any role in Bill Bradley's presidential campaign. That had a lot of holes, too.
Shame on all you wonderful front-runners who are complaining because the Redskins beat the Panthers only by 20-17 instead of, say, 73-0. Hey, a win by any other name is still a win. If you don't believe me, ask Norv Turner.
Or Mike Hargrove.
Speaking of the Orioles, who is Trenidad Hubbard? He probably isn't even a household name to his Old Mother.
In fact, who are the Orioles? With the Redskins in session, they're as invisible in these parts as they have been all season in the American League East race.
I notice that Albert Belle has been troubled lately by a bad hip. Poor baby. For a lousy $13 million a year, nobody should expect him to play hurt, right? Sorry for the digression, but I always keep Albert close to my heart, like indigestion.
Back to the Redskins.
I remember opening-day losses by scores like 38-7, 41-7, 30-0 and 35-3. As Casey Stengel said, you could look it up. Or was that Casey Weldon?
Now we must look ahead. Sunday's game against Detroit won't be in Washington, where the Pussycats have never won, so they have a snowball's chance in hell of beating the Redskins. And that's about all, with somebody named Charlie Batch likely to replace Stoney Case at quarterback. Who are these guys? Where's Gus Frerotte when the Lions need him, banging his head against some stadium wall in Denver?
The Lions' only chance will be if Bobby Layne and Barry Sanders come out of retirement. And if LeCharls' special teams get on the field enough.
Forget it, though the Redskins are gonna be 2-0 or Dangerous Dan Snyder will know why. Then comes Monday night of Week 3, when they'll beat the Cowgirls so badly that even Dennis Miller will be shocked into blessed silence. I think I can hear Al Michaels now: "It's 41-0, Redskins … do you believe in miracles?"
Nothing else matters in D.C., you see. The country is at peace, the economy is good, the Clintons are going, going, gone and the Redskins are winning. Life is indeed beautiful.
Here we go again. Redskins uber alles.

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