- The Washington Times - Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Recent issues of various outdoor magazines dealt with a subject dear to my heart, but the mags won’t like my way of looking at things. It’s all about offering us a bunch of advice we really don’t need.

The editors, no doubt reaching the bottom of the articles barrel, want to tell perfectly normal human beings how to behave in cold weather.

Duh!

“What keeps you warm in the wilderness will keep you warm in the city,” they said. OK. Tap’s Winter Tips in the January issue of Field & Stream recommends we dress like an Eskimo when it’s cold: “In freezing weather, the Eskimos wear loose clothing, allowing their blood to circulate to all parts of their body. This also lets air in to evaporate body moisture. Hands and feet will get cold first. Wear oversized mittens and lace your boots loosely.”

See? Bet you didn’t know that you should dress warmly when it’s cold. Thank you, Field & Stream. But wait, there’s more.

Clear your car’s windows for safe driving. Doggone it. I’m happy you mentioned that. And here I was going to let my truck’s windows be just as fogged up as possible to make the ride around the Beltway more interesting.

There’s more. Don’t wear wet clothing because you will lose body heat faster. I’ll bet that comes as a surprise to all of us. Imagine being wet and suddenly feeling the cold more than if we were dry. I tell you, folks, these people think we’re blooming idiots.

But the hunting/fishing magazines aren’t alone in the silly advice business.

I don’t know how many times in any week that promises snow, ice and cold weather I’ve heard self-appointed radio and television news advice givers tell us how we should be careful if we see a patch of ice. For heaven’s sake, do you self-appointed masters of advice actually believe that we don’t already know that?

One young TV news reporter who looked as if she just graduated from high school recently gushed that it was snowing, “So please drive carefully, carry along a scraper for the windshield and wear warm clothes,” she said, no doubt proud as a peacock that she gave us something that we could really use because we never would have known that.

Thank you, Missy. I was going to fly down the road in my bathing trunks with fogged up or frozen windows had you not said that.

Boat show coming to town — The 43rd Washington Boat Show is about to have its run at the new Washington Convention Center, 801 Mount Vernon Place NW, from Feb. 18 to 22

The show boasts more than a quarter-million square feet of floor space devoted to boats, accessories and anything else related to being on the water. More than 200 display booths will showcase marine products. More than 500 boats will be on display, and special show prices will be in effect for many models. Tickets are $9, children 6 to 12 pay $4, 5 and under are free.

For details visit the Web site: www.washingtonboatshow.com.

Public TV features yellow perch project — The Southern Maryland chapter of the Coastal Conservation Association/Maryland for some time has been involved in a yellow perch propagation and reintroduction program. If you’re interested in seeing what the association has done, check out Maryland Public Television’s “Outdoors Maryland” tonight at 6 and Saturday at 5:30 p.m.

EVENTS

Trout Unlimited chapter meeting — Tomorrow, 7:30 p.m., Vienna Volunteer Fire Department, 400 Center Street SE, Vienna. The public is invited to the meeting of the Northern Virginia Chapter of Trout Unlimited. Free. Special guest Virginia fisheries biologist John Odenkirk will talk about the status of trout in the state. Information: www.novadu.org.

Saltwater Sportsman seminar — Saturday, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Annapolis High School’s Performing Arts Theater, 2700 Riva Road. A 1-day, 6-hour seminar that addresses where and how to catch fish in our area. Included will be tips and fishing techniques, local and national anglers, on-stage demonstrations, latest tackle, visual teaching aids, closed circuit TV, door prizes. The $45 seminar ticket includes a subscription to Saltwater Sportsman Magazine and six hours of instruction from a regional pro. To register, 800/448-7360.

Bass fishing flea market — Saturday, 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., Glendale Firehouse, 13511 Hillendale Drive, Dale City, Va. New and used fishing tackle. Admission: $2; under 12 free.

Washington Boat Show — Feb. 18-22, Washington Convention Center, 801 Mount Vernon Place NW (Metro’s Mount Vernon Square/7th Street station, yellow or green lines). More than 500 boats, 200 booths. Admission: $9, children 6-12 $4, 5 and under free. Information: 703/823-7960; or www.washingtonboatshow.com.

CCA/Southern Maryland Winter BBQ — Feb. 21, 6 p.m., the Izaak Walton League Hall, 4200 Gardiner Rd., Waldorf. The Southern Maryland chapter of the Coastal Conservation Association invites the public to join in its annual fund-raiser winter barbecue. $30 a person (includes an annual membership in the CCA, a $25 value). Information: Donald Gardiner, 301/645-3323, 301/843-3719.

Fly fishers buy, sell, swap meet — Feb. 21, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Davidsonville (Md.) Recreation Center. Freestate Fly Fishers buy, sell and swap meet. Rain or snow date is Feb. 28. Members and non-members welcome. Fly fishing equipment can be purchased for pennies on the dollar. Information: Mike Price, 410/320-0080.

Wilderness first aid — March 6-7. Alexandria. An 18-hour class in wilderness first aid. The course includes classroom study as well as hands-on practice for a two-year certification. Cost is $160. Information: 703/836-8905; wfa.net.

Baltimore Antique Arms Show — March 20-21, Maryland State Fairgrounds, Timonium, sponsored by the Maryland Arms Collectors Association. The show opens at 9 a.m. both days and features exhibitors from 42 states and seven foreign countries displaying antique and historic arms, some of which can be bought. Admission: $5. No modern handguns will be permitted. Information: www.baltimoreshow.com; 301/865-6804.

Look for Gene Mueller’s Outdoors column Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday, only in The Washington Times. E-mail: gmueller@washingtontimes.com

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