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The Washington Times Online Edition

Time for a little Lacrosse shtick

Did you read about that basketball coach at Louisiana-Lafayette who got fired — just two months after being hired — for resume embellishment? He reportedly listed a degree from Lacrosse University, which was unbelievably dumb. I mean, who’s gonna believe he went to Princeton?

• • •

I ask you: Where but the Sunday Column can you find lacrosse humor?

(OK, attempted lacrosse humor.)

• • •

Lacrosse University (motto: “Innovation in Education”) is an online school “accredited” by the World Association of Universities and Colleges, whatever the heck that is. Its mission, according to its Web site, is to “fulfill the educational needs of professional and working adults who wish to expand their formal education within their field of expertise. In addition to recognizing prior learning, we offer a fresh and unique approach to traditional subject matter. By maintaining flexible schedules, we can facilitate the educational process to fit the needs of all our students.

“There are no ‘on campus’ requirements, and course work is completed entirely through correspondence. We have an open-enrollment policy, which allows students to enroll with Lacrosse at any time throughout the year. Our degree programs are designed for self-directed students.”

Translation: Just send us the money, and we’ll mail you the diploma.

• • •

Lacrosse University. … Wonder if that’s where that St. Bonaventure player got his certificate in welding.

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Can you imagine what the coach’s “safe school” was?

• • •

Speaking of hoops, I did a little research on the basketball-playing mother of the Capitals’ Alexander Ovechkin, the top pick in the NHL Draft. Tatiana Ovechkin, I’ll have you know, was the captain of one of the greatest women’s teams ever assembled, the unbeatable Soviet national squad of the 1970s and early 1980s. The average score of its games in the 1976 Olympics was 101-69. (And the U.S., which took the silver behind the U.S.S.R., had a pretty fair team itself that year that featured Ann Meyers, Luisa Harris, Nancy Lieberman and Pat Head — now known as Pat Summit. The Russians routed the Americans 112-77.)

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