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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Are hunters mentally unstable?

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Former hunter Earle D. Hightower, 82, who recently sent 600 cards to property owners in Garrett County, Md., -- ostensibly to show his displeasure with the much-ballyhooed black bear hunt -- says 40 percent of all hunters are mentally unstable, drug addicts or drunks. It could be he meant they are all three.

Now, I don't know about drug addicts or being a drunk. I have never touched mind-altering drugs and rarely imbibe. When I do take a sip, it's usually no more than one beer or a glass of Riesling.

However, Mr. Hightower has an ally in his accusation that we hunters are mentally unstable: my wife.

There have been times when I left the house before daylight and didn't return until long after sunset. "You've been where? Goose hunting for the past nine or 10 hours? You're crazy," she would say.

Or what about all the times when I sat in a duck blind in sleet, rain and wind and returned home without so much as a feather, never mind a whole duck. "You're as nutty as a fruitcake," she would say with a sneer.

How about all those days when I (and half the males in Maryland and Virginia and all of the guys in Pennsylvania) sit up in a tree, 12 or 13 feet off the ground, freezing while waiting for a deer for hours on end -- and nothing shows up.

"Like I said," my wife would counter. "You're all chock full of nuts, crazy as a loon for doing that."

So, Mr. Hightower, it could be you have a point, although you cannot cite any scientific studies to back your claim. Rest assured, however, our self-admitted craziness is of the nice variety. We love our families, take care of our children, instill solid values in them and enjoy our life to the fullest. Not only that, but thanks to tasty wild game, we also eat pretty well.

Those who disagree with hunters -- people who would compare hunting to animal torture -- might as well conclude that painting your house is no different than Rembrandt putting his brush to a canvas.

In short, where do people get such idiotic thoughts when nothing could be further from the truth?

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