Quick, name a breakout character Jimmy Fallon played during his six-year run on “Saturday Night Live.”
OK, he manned the news desk with Tina Fey and scored as that obnoxious Red Sox fan, but otherwise, the comic’s credentials boil down to a gift for impersonations and that adorably tousled mop of hair.
Rules are rules, however, and all “SNL” graduates — even Joe Piscopo — must attempt a film career.
Which brings us to “Taxi,” a loose remake of a 1998 French smash, which exposes Mr. Fallon as a not-ready-for-prime-time movie star.
It doesn’t help that he’s paired with Queen Latifah, who even on an off day — as she suffers here — knows the big screen is where she belongs.
Not so Mr. Fallon, or at least not yet. He seems to grow smaller in every scene, making the unlikeliest film cop in … well, maybe since those Keystone fellas hung up their hats.
Mr. Fallon plays Washburn (because movie cops go simply by their last names), a member of New York’s finest who drives even worse than he busts crimes.
A suspended Washburn hails a cab driven by Belle (Queen Latifah) to pursue a fleeing band of bank robbers. He quickly discovers Belle’s wheels aren’t your typical yellow cab. We’re talking a souped-up marvel that can outrun the fastest production cars on the street.
They’ll need all that horsepower because the criminals in question drive an even meaner machine and don’t look like your typical hoods.
They’re a quartet of supermodel-level beauties (led by real-life supermodel Gisele Bundchen) who have the FBI and NYPD tied up in knots.
Breaking the case means Washburn and Belle must stop bickering for five minutes and start working together.
Where did they ever come up with that dynamic for a mismatched-buddy comedy?
Along the way, we meet Washburn’s mom, a tipsy type played without embarrassment by Ann-Margret. To watch the still-fiery redhead slurp margaritas and utter lame “jungle fever” jokes is to wish Hollywood would respect its elders.
The film’s sole wrinkle is casting Jennifer Esposito as Washburn’s perpetually flustered boss, who inexplicably once dated him back in their academy days.
Not a spark of chemistry, though — humorous or otherwise — passes between them.