Eavesdropping in the dark as son breaks speech barrier

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I am standing in the hallway outside my son's bedroom door, listening. OK, I'm eavesdropping -- but it's the only way I'm going to find out what's really going on in his life.

Not that I don't ask him directly. Every afternoon in the van at the end of a long school day, I pitch questions such as, "What made today fun?" or "What happened that surprised you today?"

I have read parenting articles that recommend asking open-ended questions rather than those that can be answered with a simple "yes," "no" or the most meaningless reply, "fine." So, instead, I ask things that should elicit a thoughtful response.

Unfortunately, the answer I get from my son these days is "nothing."

How is this possible? He leaves the house before 8 a.m. and doesn't climb into the car until after 3 p.m. It's inconceivable to me that in more than seven hours away from home, nothing happens that is even remotely remarkable.

Yet, ever since he started sixth grade, I have noticed a change in my son. The boy who can talk for seven or eight minutes without a breath about last week's soccer game or last night's Yankees game or the last frozen waffle in the refrigerator is suddenly mute about middle school.

When I ask, "Who did you hang with at recess?" the answer is, "My friends."

If I probe with, "Tell me about your classes," I get, "They're boring."

Once I asked, "So, do you have a girlfriend?"

He said, "No. Should I?" This felt like a conversational victory.