- The Washington Times - Tuesday, May 2, 2006

It seems that Babe Ruth’s legend, Hank Aaron’s home run record and Barry Bonds’ head loom so large that a conspiracy is at work.

San Francisco Giants right fielder Moises Alou has a half-baked theory: Opposing managers are walking Bonds because they don’t want him to pass Ruth and then Aaron.

Bonds has drawn plenty of walks — 26 through Sunday, second only to Albert Pujols in the National League.

Of course, Bonds always has drawn lots of walks. It’s quite a stretch to think that managers like Bruce Bochy, Grady Little, Bob Melvin and Clint Hurdle are protecting Aaron’s record and not their own posteriors. They are trying to keep Bonds from hitting home runs.

But wait, there’s more.

Did you notice all those home runs in the first month of the season?

Pujols set a major league record with 14 home runs in April. Jonny Gomes had 11. Chris Shelton had 10. This guy named Kevin Mench who plays for the Rangers hit a home run in seven consecutive games last week.

Some say this is reminiscent of 1987 when Larry Sheets hit 31 homers and the ball was wound tighter than Pee Wee Herman during a bomb scare.

Some say Bud Selig wants Pujols to erase Bonds’ single-season home run mark in baseball’s new steroid-testing era. Plus, Selig really likes home runs.

Some say the government has proof of UFOs, and they are the result of alien visitation, but it suppresses this information for its own nefarious purposes or because it believes the public is not prepared to deal with this reality.

You get the idea.

The point is: It’s all bunk, mostly because Selig isn’t that smart.

The head of Barry Bonds is doing strange things to people. It is quite big, in case you haven’t heard, and it is getting bigger, and it could be controlling your thoughts right now.

But you have to be strong and fight that urge. Listen to reason.

Bonds has 711 career home runs. He likely will pass Babe Ruth, who has 714 homers. This is not significant because 714 home runs is not a record.

Hank Aaron beat Ruth’s record on April 8, 1974, under the pressure of racism and death threats. He did this with a dignity Bonds can never know, and he didn’t stop until he hit 755 home runs.

Until Bonds approaches this record, the conspiracy theorists, Selig and those afraid of Bonds’ head should relax, take a deep breath and enjoy the season.

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