A modest proposal

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Term-limited Mexican President Vicente Fox was visiting Utah yesterday, purportedly on a "trade mission." I have my doubts. Is it merely a coincidence that it is rumored that Vicente Fox has programmed on his iPod songs like: "Don't Fence Me In," "This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land," "Home on the Range" and "America the Beautiful"?

I suppose if he was asked, he would say that someone has to sing those songs and obviously Americans refuse to sing them anymore. There was a time when young Americans would climb up on their horses and sing "Don't Fence Me In." But now they just slouch into their overstuffed chairs and watch American Idol.

Consider, when American politicians are thinking of running for president, they go up to New Hampshire to test the waters, but purportedly to talk to the three or four college students or maple-sap collectors up there. Now Vicente is up in Utah on a "trade mission." I think Vicente may be thinking of trading in the presidency of Mexico for the presidency of the United States.

And it's not a bad idea. After all, he has proven to be very effective at sealing his southern border from unwanted illegal immigrants. But more importantly, he has proven to be a genius at moving his population northward. I think it is time for him to provide the same leadership for us.

Americans have always needed new frontiers to explore and develop. Ever since we made it to the Pacific there has been a sense of completion to our story. As Frederick Jackson Turner argued: "The existence of an area of free land, its continuous recession, and the advance of American settlement westward explain American development."

But why only westward? Why not northward? Perhaps it is time to unleash our restless frontier spirit. Where better than to Canada? And who better to lead us than Vicente Fox?

After all, Canada is virtually empty. Less than 30 million Canadians in over 3.9 million square miles. It's bigger than the United States and largely undeveloped. Plus, Osama bin Laden doesn't seem to care about Canada. We will no longer be in the bull's eye. Let the Mexican/New Americans deal with him.

We Americans could build the malls, golf courses and high tech corridors that Canadians refuse to build. No civilized people care about technical borders anymore. It's so possessive and stingy. Only fussy Canadian nativists and xenophobes will complain that Canada is theirs. Yea? You and what National Guard? There are 300 million of us and only 30 million of you. Get used to it. Plus, we already speak your language. Or, technically, we both already speak England's language.