- The Washington Times - Sunday, August 12, 2007

Well, the Tennessee Titans have foiled Pacman Jones‘ plans to join the professional wrestling circuit during his suspension from the NFL. The team is willing to let him have an outside-the-ring role with Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, I hear, but he has to stay at least 50 feet away from any Foreign Object.

He’s also prohibited from carrying on his person more than five $1 bills.

Speaking of Pacman, he insisted last week he’d been arrested only two times, even though police records indicate the number is six. Of course, a cornerback needs a memory like that — for self-preservation’s sake. I mean, if Pacman got burned for six touchdowns last season, he’d probably tell you he gave up two.

As coaches are forever saying, “You can’t do anything about the last arrest. Just concentrate on the next arrest.”

It’s now a 5-yard penalty in the NFL if you spike the ball after being tackled at the end of a non-scoring play. Should be loads of fun watching the refs enforce that one. What happens, for instance, if you spike the ball because you thought you scored, but you actually stepped out of bounds at the 1-foot line? Will that cost you 5 yards, too?

In an interview with the Dallas Morning News, it came out that erstwhile Redskins clipboard holder Babe Laufenberg had named his firstborn Joe Willie — after Joe Namath. “It was actually a prenuptial agreement,” he told the News’ Barry Horn. “No Joe Willie, no marriage. I wanted to name the second one Johnny U. [His wife Joan] put her foot down. He is Luke.”

Did you see the NFL is switching to high-definition technology to help its game officials review plays? What’s next, night vision goggles?

Also, the size of the referee’s sideline monitor is being increased from a 20-inch screen to a 26-incher. The officials association is still lobbying, apparently, for pay-per-view movies.

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