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According to Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon, the ball he used to get the last out in the World Series — and subsequently absconded with — was ripped to shreds by his bulldog, Boss.

How unbelievable a story is that? I’m not talking about his dog destroying a priceless historical artifact, I’m talking about his dog answering to the same name as George Steinbrenner.

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It’s just misplaced aggression, if you ask me. What the mutt really wished he was chewing on, I’m sure, is one of Michael Vick’s ESPY Awards.

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At least, I hope it was just misplaced aggression — and not steroid rage. The Mitchell Report didn’t make any mention of Boss, did it?

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Fearless prediction: When the Letterman show resumes, the pooch will make an appearance on “Stupid Pet Tricks.”

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After all, isn’t a dog that devours baseballs the canine equivalent of a man who eats light bulbs?

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And who doesn’t enjoy watching a man eat light bulbs?

As long as they’re energy-efficient, of course.

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Story Continues →