According to Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon, the ball he used to get the last out in the World Series — and subsequently absconded with — was ripped to shreds by his bulldog, Boss.
How unbelievable a story is that? I’m not talking about his dog destroying a priceless historical artifact, I’m talking about his dog answering to the same name as George Steinbrenner.
It’s just misplaced aggression, if you ask me. What the mutt really wished he was chewing on, I’m sure, is one of Michael Vick’s ESPY Awards.
At least, I hope it was just misplaced aggression — and not steroid rage. The Mitchell Report didn’t make any mention of Boss, did it?
Fearless prediction: When the Letterman show resumes, the pooch will make an appearance on “Stupid Pet Tricks.”
After all, isn’t a dog that devours baseballs the canine equivalent of a man who eats light bulbs?
And who doesn’t enjoy watching a man eat light bulbs?
As long as they’re energy-efficient, of course.
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