Inside the Beltway

Wrong war

“Please don’t draft me.”

— Message painted on a large sign held up by a student, or so it appeared, standing in front of the Chattanooga School of Arts and Sciences when PresidentBush’s motorcade drove by during a visit to Tennessee yesterday.

Don’t shake

So what if etiquette columnist and author Judith Martin, aka “Miss Manners,” was seated right next to him during dinner Tuesday night at Washington’s popular Teatro Goldoni.

That didn’t stop John Mariani, food and wine columnist for Esquire and Wine Spectator, and author of the Encyclopedia of American Food & Drink, from grabbing the encrusted rack of lamb off his dinner plate and eating it with his fingers. And he wasn’t alone.

Let’s turn, shall we, to her columns published in more than 200 newspapers, and her best-selling book “Miss Manners’ Basic Training: Eating,” in which Miss Martin explains how to “eat almost anything” while restaurant dining.

“Dear Miss Manners,” wrote one reader, “I was under the impression, at a casual luncheon, that it was okay to pick up fried chicken with your fingers. I was informed that this is not proper, that it should be cut with a knife and fork.”

Miss Manners?

“If by a casual luncheon you mean friends taking their lunch break together in the cafeteria or a meeting at a fast-food court or a picnic in the park, yes, you can pick up your chicken. If you mean a meal at a slow-food restaurant or in someone’s dining room (as opposed to someone’s kitchen), no.”

Hmmm.

“Dear Miss Manners,” wrote another, “What is the best way to address people who lick their fingers while eating? It is a common occurrence that I find extremely rude, especially when I’m trying to enjoy my meal.”

“Don’t shake hands with them,” Miss Manners replied. “Better yet, don’t go out to dinner with them. Unless these people happen to be your children, Miss Manners is afraid that you cannot correct their table manners, such as they are.”

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