• Unfortunately, the Rover’s favorite story subject at the 136th British Open didn’t play well enough to merit a column. Englishman Jon Bevan, a 40-year-old driving range pro from Ipswich, staggered to an opening 73 in the cold at Carnoustie.
Bevan was given an ultimatum — golf or marriage — by his wife of more than a decade a month ago. Bevan chose golf. She threw him out of the house, and Bevan entered the British Open’s qualifier at Downfield to prove the merit of his professional aspirations to his estranged bride.
In a mild shocker, Bevan won the qualifier (71-65) and spent his last shilling securing lodgings at Carnoustie. Over a few pints on Wednesday night, Bevan’s Irish caddie authored the Rover’s quote of the week when asked to describe his man: “Well, he hits it like [excrement]; most drunk cripples are better ball-strikers. But once he gets to the green, brother, he putts like Jesus Christ.”
• The Rover wants to know how obvious pro tennis wannabe Johan Edfors ended up as a golfer. Did he simply get in the wrong queue at the country club one morning?
— Barker Davis