- The Washington Times - Friday, July 6, 2007

Never has so little joy been expressed in what ought to be the joyful pursuit of Barry Bonds.

Even his defenders, always ready to imbibe from the Jim Jones refreshment stand to show their fealty to Bonds, cannot enjoy the journey because of the polarizing background noise.

They can’t win either.

Their screeds against logic carry all the persuasiveness of a Keith Olbermann rant on the state of the U.S., the Bush administration and the unenlightened oddballs who live in the flyover part of the country.

Yet the true believers have awarded Bonds a starting position in the All-Star Game, the erstwhile midsummer classic until Bud Selig declared the game a tie, and no one ever could see it in the same light again, certainly not in the fashion of Pete Rose barreling into Ray Fosse at home plate.

Hank Aaron is poised to take up at an undisclosed location as Bonds nudges ever closer to eclipsing his all-time home-run mark.

It is possibly the same undisclosed location that houses Dick Cheney, whose capacity to make Olbermann’s head swivel in the manner of Linda Blair’s character in “The Exorcist” is remarkable.

You fully expect a torrent of green bile to come gushing out of Olbermann’s mouth one of these nights. Perhaps he could speak in tongues as well.

Selig could exercise his considerable power and call off the All-Star Game, if only to squelch the possibility of another tie and temper a renewed focus on the cap size of Bonds.

The question of his cap size has become a side industry all itself, not unlike going to the carnival to have a carny guess your weight.

Bonds has a very large head, as you know, seemingly far larger than the head that once sat atop his shoulders in the early ‘90s.

This is merely an observation from afar, not grounded in the facts that once guided Leni Riefenstahl or now guide Michael Moore, artistic giants both, and that goes triple for Moore.

The ballot stuffing held in celebration of Bonds is possibly an indication that the apocalypse is before us.

Or maybe it is merely an indication that it is San Francisco.

No explanation other than the dateline is necessary.

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