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Good thing Shaquille O’Neal doesn’t play in the league. Instead of Hack-a-Shaq, you’d have Bend, Fold, Spindle and Mutilate-a-Shaq.

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Ten fouls … in just 20 minutes of playing time. I’m not sure that many blows were struck in the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight.

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Unfortunately, Oden was held to six points, so he missed out on his first double-double.

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“I couldn’t get into a groove tonight,” the NBA’s No. 1 pick said. “There’s always a lot of pressure out there because of who you are.”

There’s also a lot of pressure, I’m sure, knowing you’ve got only nine fouls to give.

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In the second half, I hear, the opposing team pulled its starters and inserted five stunt men.

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Elsewhere in hoops, San Antonio star Tony Parker married Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria in a 45-minute ceremony in Paris. According to sources, NBA commissioner David Stern was asked to give away the bride but respectfully declined. He felt he’d done enough, it seems, giving away the Suns-Spurs series.

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You know, I was just thinking: In the time it took Parker and Longoria to get hitched, Greg Oden could have committed 22½ fouls.

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Story Continues →