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“Give me Al Gore in a plaid shirt.”

“I won the presidency, and all I got was this stupid outfit.”

“An Army Of One.”

“Left alone, without his handlers.”

“One big crock with two little Crocs.”

“OK, so I’m a liberal from the knees down.”

Ice cap toll

Our favorite letter of the week comes from Marc Perkel of San Bruno, Calif., who knows one way to reduce carbon emissions: eliminate toll roads and toll bridges.

“Toll collection requires people sit in traffic with their engines running generating useless smog while waiting in line to pay a tax. If these tolls were eliminated, then millions of tons of greenhouse gases would not be dumped into the air we breathe, and it would reduce our need to buy Arab oil and avoid gas shortages that drive up prices,” he says.

“A toll is a tax with a high cost to the environment. If we must pay a tax, then we should raise the tax on gasoline to make up the difference,” he adds. “So let’s close down those toll booths before the ice caps melt and it’s too late.”

{bullet}John McCaslin, whose column is nationally syndicated, can be reached at 202/636-3284 or