- The Washington Times - Friday, June 22, 2007

You have to hand it to Pacman Jones and his posse.

There is just no quit in them.

And you cannot take that away from them.

And if you are dumb enough to try, you just might wind up paralyzed with a bullet lodged in your spine.

At least that is how it ended up for Tommy Urbanski, the Las Vegas strip club bouncer who was consigned to a wheelchair the rest of his life after Jones and his posse experienced a misunderstanding with the strippers and were ordered to leave the place.

That is no way to treat Jones and his posse, and so all manner of mayhem ensued, including the requisite gunfire that put Urbanski in a wheelchair.

You need the gunfire to keep it real, according to the keep-it-real definition of the nitwit crowd.

Besides, it is so easy to keep it real in America, with the majority of Americans not carrying weapons and living in gun-free zones like D.C., where the only ones armed are the criminal class, while the rest of us walk around with a bull’s-eye on our back.

This is considered the purest form of enlightenment in blue locales.

If I were one of the many judges who is always running into Jones in this or that courtroom, I would ask him whether he and his posse would be willing to keep it real in Iraq or Afghanistan. I mean, it is really real in those two theaters of military operations.

And if I were the sentencing judge, I would be more than happy to dump Jones and his posse along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, with the instructions: “Now keep it real.”

This could be an updated version of “The Dirty Dozen.”

It is not as if Jones will be playing football with the Titans this fall after receiving a one-year suspension from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

The suspension was meted out before Las Vegas authorities charged Jones with two felonies this week and before authorities in Atlanta became interested in questioning Jones and his posse about a shooting that occurred following an argument at a strip club there.

That is the other thing about Jones and his posse. They are consistent performers.

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