A big, trans-fat rejection of government grannies

Didn’t I tell you so? First, they’d go after the cigs, then the french fries.

Now that the government grannies have successfully choked the air in most area restaurant and bars, they’re determined to kill the grill, scour the skillet.

Not long ago, I distinctly remember being challenged in a heated public debate during the dust-ups about imposing smoking bans in restaurants and bars. My opposing pundits insisted that I was loony as a bitsy bug to suggest that once the nannylike legislators finish pulverizing smokers, they’ll become food police.

Hold the grease. The proposed trans-fat-free zones in Maryland are just a start. In the not-so-distant future, you will rue the day when you face fines and confinement should you get caught sneaking a 100-calorie pack of salty-sweet munchies into your smoke-free, phone-free, hybrid smart car.

Where else but in the environmentalist haven of Montgomery County would the trans-fat-free zone take root first in the metropolitan area?

If the fat-free bans, similar to those adopted in New Jersey and the Big Apple, are enacted in the so-called Free State, you know it won’t be long before the District and Virginia follow suit, as they have with smoke-free zones.

So what’s a Sistagirl who loves her chicken wings and “fryers,” as my mother calls them, to do?

The ol’ timers better watch out: Don’t be caught anywhere near those soul food shacks famous for a D.C.-style “hot fish sammich, white bread, with hot sauce.”

Ben’s Chili Bowl won’t even be allowed to sell veggie burgers, slapped with chili and cheese sauce.

Bypass Chinatown altogether. And those spicy Chesapeake Bay crab cakes? Fahgeddaboudit.

The Montgomery County Council is slated to vote this week on a countywide measure that would ban foods cooked in trans fats in restaurants. A similar statewide measure was tabled in the Maryland General Assembly to give restaurant owners an opportunity to voluntarily find alternative cooking products.

Trans fats are hydrogenated oils that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration says contribute to increasing low-density lipoproteins (LDL), or so-called bad cholesterol.

But trans fats make up only 2 percent of most Americans’ diets. Saturated fats, which some consider to be far worse, make up 10 percent to 15 percent. The food police will not stop with the lesser of the evils.

Tell me, who will be left to enforce these expanding food bans against the patrol cops wolfing down doughnuts and coffee loaded with cream and sugar in the 7-Eleven parking lot?

Shrink the Super Size Me zones. Limit food portions. Rest assured that a total ban on foods baked, sauteed, fried or sugared are next.

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