- The Washington Times - Wednesday, September 19, 2007

O.J. Simpson’s sports memorabilia issues in Las Vegas are expected to result in another publishing effort on his part, this one titled, “If I Did It, Part Deux.”

You just can’t stop Simpson.

You can’t even hope to contain him, especially if he is in a rage and he has several gun-toting buddies at his side.

Simpson insists no guns were involved during his scavenger hunt, and even if there were guns involved, they undoubtedly were planted by Mark Fuhrman and Marcia Clark.

Crazy as it is, Simpson is unable to catch a break in a city whose motto is: “What happens here, stays here.”

Now his attempt to right a wrong is the focus of legal analysts, psychiatrists and the usual assortment of blabbermouths on the cable television yak fests.

Simpson is facing a zillion years in prison, although he could plead the charges down and be sentenced to time already served.

A few of the talking heads are armed with the prejudicial suspicion that Simpson got away with the double murder of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

That is difficult to comprehend in a society as enlightened as ours.

Ours is a society that has learned through Rosie O’Donnell’s investigative work that steel does not melt and that the horror of September 11 was perpetrated by our government.

This is in the company of Simpson dedicating his life to finding the “real killers,” which has led many observers to assume that the “real killers” were golf nuts who sometimes attend sports memorabilia shows and have possible ties to the Colombian drug cartel.

Simpson plays lots of golf but not without raking every bunker to see which clues he may uncover to solve the whodunit.

Unfortunately, one of the downsides to Simpson being led away in handcuffs is it is incredibly difficult to investigate a double murder from a jail cell.

Simpson, of course, is innocent until proven guilty, although many of the commentators have parsed the tape of the hotel room incident and reached a guilty verdict.

Simpson can be heard on the tape explaining that he has a philosophical problem with anyone who steals stuff from him.

At one point on the tape, Simpson says, “Can I please have back my photo of J. Edgar Hoover? Pretty please.”

There is no mention of guns on the tape, a gun not known as Simpson’s preferred instrument of persuasion.

It could be the sports memorabilia vendors were working as government agents in an effort to set up Simpson.

Authorities know Simpson has no choice but to be a vigilante, as he pointed out, because whenever he calls police for this or that problem, the police inevitably look at him as being the problem.

So former U.S. attorney general Alberto Gonzales told subordinates to steal Simpson’s goods and ordered the vendors to cooperate or else, knowing Simpson would be motivated to act.

Nancy Pelosi, start your hearings.

The avalanche of publicity over Simpson’s “sting operation” is expected to help book sales, which in turn will help the Goldman family.

The Goldman family obtained the publishing rights of the book because of a civil court ruling that found Simpson liable in the double murder.

This dash for cash has provoked a falling out between the Goldman and Brown families, once inseparable on television shows and now predisposed to scratch each other’s eyes out.

Alas, they have become Jerry Springer’s kind of guests.

At least one well-known celebrity is happy to see Simpson’s name back in the news.

That would be Britney Spears, the ex-singer who now maintains her fame only as a national punch line.

She is, like, so old news since Simpson made a simple inquiry about the stolen merchandise.

Simpson may have lost a few steps over the years, but it would be foolish to think he is not up to his latest legal challenge.

They do not call him the Juice for nothing.

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