- The Washington Times - Sunday, August 31, 2008

This just in: Bill Belichick has announced the Patriots’ final cuts … for the 2005 season.

•••

News item: Bengals receiver Chad Johnson legally changes his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco.

Comment: I haven’t been this excited since Tony Dorsett changed the pronunciation of his last name from DOR-sett to Dor-SETT.

•••

Johnson is always among the league leaders in melodrama and general brattishness. So it’s only fitting we can now refer to him as “The O.C.”

•••

I’ve gotta admit, Ocho Cinco sounds a lot better than Quatre-Vingt-Cinq.

•••

And really, when you think about it, what’s the difference between Chad Javon Ocho Cinco and the San Francisco 49ers?

•••

Or between Chad Javon Ocho Cinco and Pope Benedict XVI, for that matter?

•••

Elsewhere in the NFL, future Hall of Famer Larry Allen, who spent the last two seasons with the Niners, signed a ceremonial contract in Dallas so he could retire as a Cowboy.

How would you like to be the player who got released to make “room” for Allen on the roster?

Story Continues →