- Obama downplays IRS scandal, blames Obamacare rollout on ‘outdated’ agencies
- Pregnancies decline overall, up among older women
- Pentagon plans to destroy Syrian chemical arms on ship at sea
- Paris Metro issues ‘politeness manual’ to improve passengers’ behavior
- Justin Bieber, crew detained at Australian airport in drug search
- Lee Rigby trial: Muslim who machete-hacked soldier calls it ‘humane’ kill
- GM ending Chevy sales in Europe to focus on Opel and Vauxhall
- Putin’s diplomats to U.S. busted for living high life off $1.5M bilked from Medicaid
- Happy Meal: Couple goes to McDonald’s, leaves with bag packed with cash
- Boehner: It took me 3 to 4 hours to sign up for Obamacare
Objects in this column are closer than they appear
I don’t mind saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” this time of year because people are celebrating all kinds of different stuff.
Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, winter solstice - it’s a farmers market of holidays out there.
A few people are even trying to celebrate “Festivus,” apparently unaware its celebratory details were invented for an episode of “Seinfeld.” (I’m not too keen on the “Festivus Pole,” but I can get behind the “Airing of Grievances.”)
A news report said an Indian woman has become the world’s oldest mother by giving birth to her first child - at the age of 70.
The newborn child, who appears to be a healthy 20-year-old woman, reportedly said, “Wow, I thought I’d never get out of there!”
Not surprising, fertility drugs were a factor in the septuagenarian’s pregnancy, which makes me wonder why a woman would want to use her Medicare benefits on childbirth.
Also, if she really wanted to have a child, why did she wait until she was 70 to do it? “I was busy” doesn’t quite cut it, you know?
Do you ever space out while driving and arrive at your destination with no memory of how you got there? As if your car knows where you want to go and it just takes you there?
That happens to me a lot. And every time it does, my car thinks I want to be in my neighbor Bill’s living room.
Bill: Space out again behind the wheel, eh?
Me: Yeah. Is that “Cold Case” on the tube?
Bill: Yep. Roll down your window and grab a brew.
Me: You know, this IS where I want to be.
About the Author
Carleton Bryant is the assistant managing editor for strategic planning and development/special projects for The Washington Times. He previously served as The Times’ Metropolitan desk editor, Features desk editor and an assistant National desk editor, as well as a National and Metropolitan reporter. He currently writes a humor blog and weekly humor column — both titled “Out of Context” — ...
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- Briefly — Asia
- World Briefs
- OUT OF CONTEXT: I crashed the White House State Dinner, and all I got was a T-shirt and a lousy pict
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