- The Washington Times - Sunday, December 7, 2008

“This Time There’s No ‘If’ About It, I Really Did Do It, And I Apologized For It, But The Judge Wasn’t Buying.”

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Speaking of Judge Jackie Glass, I thought she did a great job with the sentencing. She made clear that the length of O.J.’s incarceration - he could be eligible for parole in nine years - had nothing to do with his 1995 acquittal for murder … or with his performance in any of the “Naked Gun” movies, for that matter.

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On the subject of football and jurisprudence, Jaguars receiver Matt Jones met with NFL officials Thursday to appeal his three-game suspension for a drug bust. I’m not sure it helps his case any, though, that all of his best games this season - against Cleveland (eight catches, 117 yards), Houston (eight, 104), Denver (seven, 69), Cincinnati (seven, 69) and Tennessee (six, 80) - have come on grass.

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Something we’ll never need to ask Plaxico Burress again:

Is that a pistol in your pants, or are you glad to see me?

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The Patriots, meanwhile, are so wracked with injuries on defense that they’ve brought back Junior Seau, who turns 40 next month. To which I reply (in my best Ken Beatrice voice): Tony McGee - you’re next!

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Most players who have been retired for 10 months are covered with rust. Not Seau. “I’m still brushing off the wax from the surfboard,” he told the Boston Globe.

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You’ll get a kick out of Peter Schrager’s piece in Esquire, “The Seven Commandments of Watching Football in a Sports Bar.”

An excerpt:

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