- The Washington Times - Friday, November 21, 2008

We elected a black president this year, and Axl Rose, after 17 years of foot-dragging, finally decided to release Guns N’ Roses’ “Chinese Democracy.” What a country!

1. Donate to the Steven Adler Rehabilitation Fund - The band’s original drummer has recently relapsed into drugs - and his spokesman says he’s still hanging onto the dream of a reunion.

2. Create best-of “Use Your Illusion” mix - Every fan’s favorite pastime in the wake of the band’s 1991 simultaneous release of two bloated albums is easier than ever in the digital age.

3. Camp out in front of Best Buy - Mr. Rose’s exclusive deal with the big-box retailer makes a midnight-release camp-out as simple as one-stop-shopping.

4. Relearn Axl’s hip sway - Please note: The doo-rag has been replaced by cornrows.

5. Skate on surface of Hades - A must-do for those pessimists who thought this day would never come.

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