We all know the story about the first Thanksgiving, but only from the settlers’ point of view. The Indians probably had a different view, but there were no interpreters back then so we can’t be sure.
So here’s what I think the Indian leader might have said at that first Thanksgiving:
Indian chief: “Hey, how you doin’, settler chief? Looks like you’re packing up.
What is the one thing that makes Thanksgiving the most memorable meal of the year? (Besides the fact that you’re expected to overeat, that is.)
Turkey? Nope. People eat turkey all year round. Sometimes on purpose.
Yams? Nah. There’s no good reason to remember a yam-based meal.
I’ll tell you: It’s the cranberry sauce.
And when it comes to cranberry sauce, I’m a purist and a traditionalist. It’s not cranberry sauce unless it slides out of a can and sits on your plate like a cylindrical Jell-O mold.
It must be amazing to some developing countries that we have a holiday dedicated for overeating.
Carleton Bryant is the assistant managing editor for strategic planning and development/special projects for The Washington Times. He previously served as The Times’ Metropolitan desk editor, Features desk editor and an assistant National desk editor, as well as a National and Metropolitan reporter. He currently writes a humor blog and weekly humor column — both titled “Out of Context” — ...
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