No matter where you turn, it seems everybody is talking about the economy and how bad it is. For years, financial experts have talked about the dangers of people living beyond their means and now it seems like we are reaping the consequences.
Despite the financial woes, though, I wonder if what is happening is all bad.
Clearly, families are getting hit hard, but studies indicate that long before this present crisis hit, close to 43 percent of American families were spending more than they earned each year. It seems that the focus has been on buying what they wanted. Now, they are being forced to rethink their spending habits and it is incredibly painful.
How did this happen? Research shows that money is not the No. 1 thing couples consider when planning to marry, but it is the No. 1 thing they argue about. Instead of experiencing happiness in their marriage, they find themselves arguing about spending habits, credit-card debt and unpaid bills.
Nevermind the basics, when it comes to spending money the temptations are plentiful — shiny, new cars with the latest gadgets; flat-screen televisions; traveling all-star sports leagues; private schools; a new house; surround-sound systems; trendy clothing; the iPhone; and the list goes on. People often let their emotions drive their spending decisions instead of putting pencil to paper to determine whether they actually can afford it.
What happened to self-discipline and saving until you had enough money to purchase certain items or participate in an activity?
A U.S. households is about $6,600 and the average credit-card debt load is even higher, at $9,659 per household.
I also hear people complaining that family members are so busy they are like ships passing in the night.
Maybe the upside of this uncertain economy is that it will cause people to step back and evaluate what really matters. People consistently say family is the most important priority in their lives. Yet the way they are living, you would think that money and things are No. 1.
I wonder what would happen if people focused more on building strong, healthy relationships than building empires. What would be the downside of people living within their means financially and timewise? Potentially, it could mean less stress, more time with family, less to keep up with, more downtime, fewer arguments and stronger relationships.
Is it possible that instead of being alone on the golf course or at the gym, couples and families could actually figure out a way to work out together for free. Or instead of being on the road with their kids playing sports for the all-star team - which means paying for hotel, gas, food and entry fees - parents make the decision to forgo this in the name of hanging out together at home?
Many people believe that more money, a big house, and tons of toys are the necessary ingredients for a happy family.
If you want to build a strong marriage and family, learn how to control your finances instead of allowing your finances to control you. Spend time with the people you love. Money and toys are no substitute for time.
Look for opportunities to encourage your loved ones and affirm them as worthy of your love. Evaluate all of the activities in which your family participates. Instead of paying to play, choose free family hobbies like playing tennis, biking or hiking.
Years from now, perhaps, you will look back and remember that less of some things means more of the best things - and many of the best things in life truly are free.
• Julie Baumgardner is executive director of First Things First, an organization dedicated to strengthening marriages and families through education, collaboration and mobilization. She can be reached at julieb@firstthings.org.
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