- The Washington Times - Sunday, October 26, 2008

Deuce McAllister and Will Smith of the Saints were reportedly among a group of NFL players who tested positive for a diuretic that masks steroid use. Of course, New Orleans plays San Diego in London on Sunday. It’s kind of a do-or-diuretic game.

News item: Plaxico Burress receives three fines from the league totaling $45,000 - not long after being docked a week’s salary ($117,000) by the Giants for missing a team meeting.

Comment: I’m beginning to think Plaxico, in anticipation of an Obama presidency, is trying to get his taxable income under $250,000.

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Burress’ latest fines were for verbally abusing an official during the game ($20,000), “inappropriate” comments about the zebras after the game ($20,000) and throwing a football into the stands ($5,000). What was wrong with throwing a ball into the stands, anyway? Was he trying to hit the replay judge?

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In response to Troy Polamalu’s comments last week that excessive fines were taking away players’ aggressiveness, Mike Ditka told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “If you want to … get back to where people aren’t striking with the head and using the head as a weapon, take the mask off the helmet. A lot of pretty boys aren’t going to stick their face in there.”

Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the competition committee discussed that one.

“So whattayathink, guys? Five-yard penalty if the tackler drags the ball carrier down by one nostril, 15-yarder if he drags him down by both?”

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Still, it would be cool to see the term “deviated septum” return to the football lexicon.

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Well, Brett Favre has set another NFL record: most cell-phone controversies in a season (two).

Back in July, you may recall, when he was still the property of Green Bay, Favre was accused of talking to the Vikings on a Packers-issued phone. (Turns out the Packers didn’t issue him a phone.)

Now we have Brett being charged with giving the Lions - via speaker phone in his truck - intelligence about his old team.

Story Continues →