- No mas: Principal bans Spanish language in intercom announcement
- Hacking software could put ‘zombie drone army’ in user’s hands
- Support for stricter gun laws drops: poll
- 10 whales dead, 41 others stranded in Everglades
- John Boehner faces bipartisan pressure to allow gay-rights vote
- Martin Bashir resigns from MSNBC over ‘ill-judged’ comments about Sarah Palin
- Rep. Duncan Hunter: While Obama prays for Iranian change, U.S. should ready its nukes
- Best company ever? Veteran Beer Co. exists to employ vets, provide quality beer
- Iran official: Sanctions ‘utterly failed’ to stop nuclear program
- ‘Black Santa’ display at IU sparks student outrage
WETZSTEIN: Married teenagers need aid
Can you handle just a little more conversation about the wedding plans of parents-to-be Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin?
I recently had one of the nation’s best-known experts on marriage - University of Minnesota professor William J. Doherty - on the phone.
Referring to news of Miss Palin’s pregnancy and pending nuptials, which consumed the media in the days after her mother, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, was added to the Republican presidential ticket, I asked Mr. Doherty, “Teen marriage - isn’t that a red flag for divorce?”
Red flag? he said. It’s “the highest risk factor. The highest. Nothing higher.”
So, I asked, is marrying young like the kiss of death for couples?
“No, no, no,” he replied just as passionately. “It just means they need a tremendous amount of support.”
Teen marriage is such a hot potato of a topic.
When I graduated high school in the early 1970s, there were at least a dozen couples who were going to marry that summer. High school reunions show that more than a few of them have lasted.
I currently know more than a few couples, now in their 20s, who married as teens and are going about their lives quite happily, thank you very much.
But studies I have seen, in fact, affirm Mr. Doherty’s strong reaction about the riskiness of teen marriage.
Entering a lifelong partnership when one or both partners are on the cusp of adulthood - when one’s brain is still fine-tuning judgment skills and emotions, when independence is so fresh an experience, when there is so much practical experience in life to be learned - seems premature and even foolhardy.
Some studies indicate that if couples just wait a few years - into the 22-to-25 age zone - their chances for successful, long-term marriage rise to the highest levels. Having a college degree and pregnancy-free courtship elevate the chances for success even more.
And yet marrying as a teen was exactly the right choice, some couples say.
“If you’re going to get serious and fall in love, do it right,” Pastor Mark Gungor, who regularly wows audiences with his “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” presentations, told me a few years ago.
Mr. Gungor and his redheaded wife, Debbie, married as teens and today are proud grandparents. Marrying young was the norm for his family, he told me with a laugh.
“In fact, if you weren’t married by age 23, we wondered what was wrong with you,” he said.
Mr. Gungor’s position is that “the real disaster” is young people thinking they are supposed to have sex with a lot of partners, accumulate a bunch of baggage from failed relationships and avoid marriage until “later” - or until “the one” shows up.
“We’ve heard this mantra over and over again … if you do it young, it’s a disaster, it’s a disaster. But I think it’s baloney,” he told me.
Perhaps family support is a part of the reason for Mr. Gungor’s successful marriage.
“When you talk about premarital pregnancy, and marrying at age 17, the risks are really high,” Mr. Doherty told me. “This means they need a lot more support from friends and family, and from their church, if they’re religious.”
And premarital counseling? “Crucial,” Mr. Doherty said. “Absolutely crucial.”
• Cheryl Wetzstein’s On the Family column runs Tuesdays and Sundays. She can be reached at email@example.com.
About the Author
Cheryl Wetzstein covers family and social issues as a national reporter for The Washington Times. She has been a reporter for three decades, working in New York City and Washington, D.C. Since joining The Washington Times in 1985, she has been a features writer, environmental and consumer affairs reporter, and assistant business editor. Beginning in 1994, Mrs. Wetzstein worked exclusively ...
- Embryonic stem cell research falls out of favor as scientists go ethical
- With new HIV research, FDA may let gay men donate blood
- HHS report shows a decrease in blood supply but also a drop in demand
- Little change in practice for China's one-child family policy
- Gay-marriage momentum comes to a sudden halt after Illinois
Latest Blog Entries
- Pro-life, stem-cell bill signed into law by Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback
- N. Dakota lawmakers approve tough abortion bill
- Pope Benedict XVI's successor should allow priests to get a new title: Husband, poll finds
- House votes to reject Obama welfare shift
- Report: Two out of three Democrats support gay marriage
- Hola: Boehner prepares to push amnesty bill through House
- Apple wins facial recognition patent for iPhone 6
- Inside China: Nuclear submarines capable of widespread attack on U.S.
- Puerto Rico caravan honoring Paul Walker ends in 6 drunken-driving arrests, 72 speeding tickets
- Kill team: Obama war chiefs widen drone death zones
- Xbox One, Playstation 4 games penalize users for cursing in their own homes
- MILLER: Obamas EPA closing smelter will not affect ammunition supply
- Pentagon may give recruits 'a shot to start over' after shameful social media posts
- Tipsforjesus mystery diner leaves huge tips across America
- U.S. drops 2,000 mice on Guam by parachute to kill snakes
Independent voices from the The Washington Times Communities
Playing Through covers the world of PGA golf, as well as tips your the average golfer to play better.
The only thing broken about our immigration policy has been our collective cowardice as a nation to enforce our current immigration laws
Al Maurer provides a common sense, conservatarian, Constitutional conservative perspective from the battleground state of Colorado
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.