- The Washington Times - Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dreamocrats

From our oh-for-Gawd’s-sake department, the New York Times recently reported that women are already nurturing crushes on poor President Obama — as in, they’re fantasizing about him in a no-no way, though the Times framed this phenomenon in much more lascivious terms.

Shame on the Gray Lady, now turned gaudy rose.

We politely point out, meanwhile, that this Obama Derangement Syndrome must be part of a greater Democrat Derangement Syndrome: Women felt the same way about former President Bill Clinton, to the point that he was included in several “dream man” polls of the era.

And a book. Don’t forget “Dreams of Bill” from the Citadel Press, which was published in 1994 and edited by Julia Anderson-Miller and Bruce Miller.

Big load

If you have to tote around a heavy load of stuff that has nothing to do with interoffice politics or the liberal next door, consider the Big Slider, billed as the ultimate do-it-yourself helper for recessionist times.

This indestructible, high-density plastic sheet can move 500 pounds worth of furniture, potted plants, lawn bags, trash, boxes, engine blocks, couches or big screen TVs across concrete, wood, grass, dirt, gravel, carpet or any kind of surface that will support the weight. As an example, leverage from the Big Slider makes a 150-pound armoire feel like pulling 30 pounds.

It comes in four sizes priced from $25 to $135. For information, consult www.bigslider.com or call 713/459-0660.

Monumental pain

Political change is never easy. Those on the losing side often take comfort in sardonic displays of wit, angst, general blubbering or weirdness — witness images of “R.I.P. America” tombstones now making their way around the Internet.

They typically read something like this. Born: July 4, 1776. Died: Nov. 4, 2008 (or Jan. 20, 2009).

Rest assured, the images are all fake — electronically confabulated at www.tombstonegenerator.com, a Web site rife with sardonic possibilities indeed. Know too that this is not new. Other online fakeries have appeared in the past few years — for example, a similar image appeared in 2005 when a flag burning amendment was wending its way through Capitol Hill.

Should we worry? Therapists generally dismiss such dark displays as a way of blowing off steam, have a laugh, move on. But still. It’s a little, well, uh — disconcerting.

Give me a Bill Garner cartoon any day.

Quotes of note

“With respect to Sean Hannity, I didn’t know that he had invited me for a beer. But I will take that under advisement.” — President Obama, during a town meeting in Elkhart, Ind.

“Fact check: Why, there’s actually no pork in Obama’s stimulus bill. Oh, there’s tons of lard, bacon, ham, sausage, crispers, ribs, shoulder butt and loins. But no actual pork.” — Parody headline at fark.com.

Michael Steele is our new Sarah Palin.” — Jason Cherkis, Washington City Paper.

Days of yore

And we thought crabby Democrats were annoying. Today marks an anniversary of monumental fisticuffs on Capitol Hill: On Feb. 15, 1798, Federalist representative Roger Griswold of Connecticut beat his colleague Matthew Lyon, a Jeffersonian Republican from Vermont, with a hickory walking stick — capping off two weeks of rancor in the House, according to historic accounts. Mr. Lyon, in turn, beat Mr. Griswold with fireplace tongs.

Satirical songs followed, many set to the tune of “Yankee Doodle.”

On this day in 1903, toy store owner and inventor Morris Michtom began selling endearing stuffed bears as “Teddy” bears, with full approval of President Theodore Roosevelt.

Then president-elect, Franklin D. Roosevelt was almost assassinated on this day in 1933 just after making a speech in Miami. Unemployed bricklayer Giuseppe Zangara shouted “Too many people are starving,” then fired six rounds from a pistol — striking five people. Roosevelt was not hit, but Chicago Mayor Anton Cermak, who was standing nearby, later died of his wounds. Zangara was later tried and executed.

Time flies: It’s been 20 years to the day since the Soviet Union withdrew the last of its forces from Afghanistan.

By the numbers

62 percent of likely voters say the U.S. and its allies are winning the war on terror.

71 percent of Republicans and 57 percent of Democrats say we are winning.

14 percent believe the terrorists are winning; 18 percent say neither side is winning.

54 percent say the U.S. is safer today than it was before the 9/11 attacks.

52 percent say the situation in Iraq will get better in the next six months.

20 percent say the situation will grow worse.

43 percent say the mission in Iraq will be judged a success in history.

35 percent say it will be deemed a failure.

Source: A Rasmussen Reports survey of 1,000 likely voters conducted Feb. 4 and 5.

Contact Jennifer Harper at jharper@washington times.com or 202/636-3085.

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