- The Washington Times - Sunday, January 25, 2009

Ordinarily, I’m not a gambling man, but I lost some money on the inauguration — the speech, to be precise.

I bet a friend that President Obama would end with, “I’m going to Disney World!”


President Bush left a note in the Oval Office for Barack Obama to wish him well. The note is a tradition that Ronald Reagan started.

The White House didn’t provide details about the contents of Bush’s note. But I know a guy who knows a guy who thought he saw the note, so here are some excerpts:

• There’s a jar of peanut butter in the lower right desk drawer — smooth, not chunky — and the crackers are in a safe behind the fireplace.

• Keep an eye on Sarkozy. He’s French, you know.

• If you ever get tongue-tied during a speech, just stop and give a thoughtful look, like you’re doing math in your head. Nobody will notice your mistake.

• Do not look behind the credenza. Clinton told me that in his note, but I didn’t know what a credenza was. Now I do. Don’t look behind it.


A few people have commented to me about my items on driving.

They say I take driving too seriously, that I let it get to me too much. But I think I’m philosophical about driving — an existentialist, really.

Jean Paul Sartre said, “Hell is other people.”

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