Cover story: The art of selling a home despite a marital split

Homeownership, the symbol of the American dream, has turned into a symbol of despair for some couples. The housing crisis has put a strain on relationships in general, but especially on homeowners in the process of a divorce or separation. Sluggish real estate sales combined with decreasing home values make it tough for couples wanting to get rid of their home - and each other.

Many Realtors have witnessed increasing cases where unhappy couples are forced to stay together in the same home while they wait for prices to rebound or the “for sale” sign lingers.

“For couples looking to separate and/or divorce, waiting for a home to sell can be a horrendous experience,” said Margeau Gilbert, Realtor with Exit Right Realty in Laurel.

This challenging real estate market is hitting divorcing couples in a number of ways. In addition to slow home sales and decreasing values, many find themselves in a situation where their home’s value has fallen so low that it’s below the amount owed on the mortgage.

In this situation, the family house - once a hot commodity - has become a burden for marriages gone bad. Neither spouse wants to be “stuck” with the home.

Vikki Ziegler, a divorce attorney based in New Jersey who is also a television personality, said each party needs their share of the equity from their home to fund their lifestyle, to use as a down payment or to buy out the other spouse for their share of equitable distribution.

More couples who are going through a divorce or contemplating divorce are choosing to live together in the house until they can sell. Even when potential buyers show interest in the house, it’s still a waiting game. Ms. Gilbert said that it is taking longer to receive responses from lenders these days.

“This results in some very unhappy people, but many couples just don’t have any other viable alternative [than to live together in the house],” continued Ms. Gilbert.

She said that sometimes when she shows a house, she can walk in and sense what’s going on immediately.

“Generally, the couple has compartmentalized their living arrangements into ‘his’ and ‘her’ areas and are living separate lives under one roof. This places an even greater strain on couples who are forced to live together for extended periods of time,” said Ms. Gilbert.

Ms. Ziegler added that these parties are “frozen in time” until they can sell their homes.

“This wait causes anxiety, acrimony and often snowballs into bigger problems,” she said.

If the real estate market doesn’t turn around, Ms. Ziegler speculates that domestic violence will continue to rise and that couples will take longer to divorce because assets can’t be divided and buyouts can’t take place.

Experts say that some couples are moving in with friends or loved ones until their home sells or are choosing to rent out their home for a period of time.

Professionals like Timothy Wesling, a certified divorce financial analyst and president of Wesling Financial Planning Services Corp. in Alexandria, agrees that more couples are delaying their divorce because of their housing situation.

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